I went to bed crying last night. It was a rough night. Sometimes my husband thinks it’s best to avoid not talking about problems but then he’ll sulk and the air in our house will turn sour. So last night after forcing him to talk to me, we’re having a big discussion about things and I’m sobbing into the pillow. Basically he thinks we spend too much money on travel, and I think we’re fine because we won’t be able to travel near as much if and when I become pregnant. I think we need to do it now while we still can. We came to an agreement, and I went to bed open mouth breathing because my nose was so clogged from crying (more on that later).
TTC is tough. Really tough. More often than not it can make you feel like a failure more times than it can make you feel like a success.
Ways TTC can make you feel like a failure:
- When you have endometriosis or PCOS
- When you miscarry
- When you don’t ovulate (anovulatory)
- When you ovulate late
- When you can’t maintain high temperatures
- When people say “It was so easy for us to get pregnant” or the like
- When you don’t have positive OPK
- When everyone around you is pregnant or falling pregnant
- When you’re surrounded by babies
- When you hear anything negative about pregnancy over 35
- When you’re older
- When you’re too fat or too skinny to get pregnant
- When you have a chemical pregnancy
- When you get your period
Ways TTC can make you feel like a success
- When you actually get pregnant and carry a baby to term
Yeah that’s it. TTC can make you feel like a failure ALL. THE. TIME. Here I thought that actually raising children would be the single most difficult thing but from where I stand it seems like TTC is the single most difficult thing I’ve done.
This morning marked another low temperature, so this morning I was crying in bed again. Of course, my husband comforted me as always. He’s really wonderful about that. I’m in despair to be honest. I don’t know what’s happening. Yesterday morning’s temp was low due to poor sleep. Did I get poor sleep again tonight? Was it because I was breathing through my mouth? Mouth breathing is not something I normally do but it can affect your temperatures (lowering them). Is that what happened? I’m pulling my hair out here. I had two high temps followed by two low temps (the first of which I marked as questionable). Is the second one also questionable? The bottom line here which is making me crazy is that I haven’t been able to confirm ovulation yet. I thought I ovulated on CD 15 with a temp shift on CD 16. However, I can’t confirm that because of the two low temps. Taking Charge of Your Fertility has nothing on this. It says one low temp can be marked as a fluke and should be ignored. It says nothing about two low temps. This is really making things hard for me. I guess the only thing I can do is wait until tomorrow. I only hope I’m greeted by a high temp in the morning.