Japan · Life

It ain’t easy…

I’m currently on CD 8.  No big whoop.  Carrying on with my life until I noticed fertile CM this morning.  What the shit?  It’s way too early for fertile CM.  Usually it starts around CD 11.  I don’t expect to be ovulating any time soon.  However, I didn’t expect fertile CM today either.  I decided to do an OPK today anyway.  I was gonna do it hours ago, but I stupidly drank something and so now I’m waiting again.

It’s been kind of stressful lately with IKEA furniture assembly (not joking), and work has been stressful too with trying to meet deadlines.  Yesterday, I booked it out of there early to try to go home and relax.  I came home to a massive dog mess, and once I got that cleaned up, I was relaxing in my bed watching TV with a cup of tea.  I grabbed the mug and it slipped out of my hand and flew into the curtains spilling a full cup a tea everywhere.  So much for relaxing.  It took forever to mop that up and I had to move the bed which weighs a million pounds.  Tea even decided to spill into one of the drawers under the bed.  FML.  I tried to relax, but in between there being no sheets on the bed and the 40 loads of laundry I had to do to prevent tea stains, it didn’t go as planned.

So yeah it’s been stressful.  I hope the stress doesn’t decide to push my ovulation up.  I’m so not ready, and Prince Endymion has been working late almost every night and sometimes after work he’ll go to a cafe and work there.  Even though he was working from home, I couldn’t tell you what time he went to bed last night, but he had reset the dryer at least around 4AM because it was running when I got up for my 5AM pee.  I hate it.  A million times I’ll say it.  Japanese work ethic is ridiculous.  Japanese people work form the early morning until late at night (and many are expected to drink with their boss or coworkers after that), and they receive no extra or overtime pay for this.  People at my work do it too.  My awful coworker who sits next to me has been buying lunch and dinner at the same time so she has something to eat when she’s there late.  Not me.  When I’m done, I leave.  Monday I stayed until around 5PM, and I thought that was offensive.  I have no shame leaving when my work is finished.  I don’t see the benefit in working until 9, 10, or 11PM every night.  What kind of life is that?  It worries me a little that my prince will miss our children growing up because he’s working his life away.  He hates it too, but it’s so ingrained in his culture that he can be no other way.  I understand it, and I accept it because I have no other choice, but I will never like it.  If Ov jumps the gun neither of us will be prepared and this will be a wasted cycle, so of course that’s troubling me too.

Sigh.  TTC.  It ain’t easy, kids.  It ain’t easy.

EDIT: Faint line on my OPK today which means I’m gearing up for Ov.  TOO SOON!

Also, one of our IKEA pieces was damaged so the prince called for a replacement which was supposed to arrive today.  A piece arrived but a completely different piece!  Now they are redelivering on Friday (the day I’m busy as hell and also hosting a small get together).  Sigh.  It’s not our week, kids.

EDIT #2: I’m near tears.  Prince Endymion just messaged me and said he’s working late again.  I asked him if he was good for tomorrow morning, and he said he had a meeting.  Does this cycle even count as a try if we don’t even get a chance to try?  Time to curl up into a ball a cry for a while.

Princess Serenity

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