Dreams · Life · The Novel

The Space and dreams and joy…

Last night I had a very vivid yet strange dream. My sister and I and Joel McHale (seriously don’t ask why, like I think he’s hot but I’m not super in love with the guy or anything) were in an airport shopping center. The airport had glass ceilings. It was pretty awesome. Before our flight was supposed to take off, we got separated and my sister and Joel boarded the plane without me. I narrowly made the flight just as they were closing the doors. When I got to my seat, I couldn’t see my sister or Joel anywhere on the plane and I was super sad. To get to the runway the plane had to climb a huge incline that was super steep. IRL I’m not at all afraid of flying. I fly a lot. But for some reason this incline terrified me and I began to whimper. Joel had heard this and climbed out of his seat and over other seats to me (while the plane is taking off you know this is a huge no-no). He climbed into the empty window seat next to mine. He sat in the seat backwards (facing me). Also, you know this isn’t allowed. Somehow he still managed to have his seatbelt on. I buried my face into his chest and I suddenly was not scared anymore. I felt complete bliss. Then I woke up. Wow, you guys. What does this even mean?!?!

In other news in my book my main character is me. I mean it’s sort of me. It’s me about ten years ago. This is a different me than today me. I’ve been obsessed with finding out who I was at that time as well as another character and while my memory is good, it is fuzzy in places. Do you guys remember MySpace? I was all about that site back in the day. It was my Mecca. My entire digital life was there. Recently MySpace changed its format and all old content was either removed or moved. My photos were moved. Glad they’re still there as I didn’t switch that to FB. From 2004 – 2009 I wrote my blogs exclusively on MySpace. Blogs were a part of the content they removed. However, blogs were available for download for a short time. I had told myself I wanted to download them but I missed the window. Over the weekend I emailed them and they sent the blogs yesterday. The blogs were in Excell format. Guys I have a Mac. I always have. I could view the blogs but the cells were fucked. I tried to convert them to a PDF but because the cells were messed up, half of the content was cut off. Yesterday after I finished work, I spent about two hours there adjusting the cells. 4000 cells. Six years of blogs. Almost 200,ooo words. That’s a novel in and of itself. After I got home I was able to copy the content and paste it into a Pages document. It’s about 600 pages. The problem is that it’s full of html. I spent about 5 hours last night deleting the html code so it’s readable. I only finished half the document. Remember I told you I’m obsessive right? The good news is that it’s a gold mine. Things about my life I had casually forgotten and other things I wanted to forget. My character is there. She’s there and fully formed. I now have more information than I could have ever dreamed to move her through the landscape of my novel. I am beyond ecstatic. This is my joy. I am bathing in joy.

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