Life

I’m currently in hell…

I imagine this is what hell is like.  The thought that you might be PG but not knowing for sure if you actually are, and therefore you cannot drink alcohol.  Yeah.  This is my current life, and I don’t like it one bit.

First of all here’s my chart from hell:

Screen Shot 2016-06-13 at 7.16.32 AM

You’ll notice late Ov on CD19 or maybe even 18 (18 was marked questionable due to poor sleep), who knows?  Then on 11DPO my temp took a huge dive so I thought AF was coming.  The next day 12DPO was lower so I thought any minute now.  On 13DPO my temp decided to jump up a little, and the WTF on 14DPO my temp was like “low temps smell ya later!”  Today 15DPO my temp took a small dip but it’s still high.

I’ve taken First Response PG tests the past three days.  On 13DPO there is a faint line but on 14 and 15DPO there is almost nothing.

Look for yourself:

IMG_2992

IMG_2993

I can’t even begin to get excited about this because I’m terrified I’m having a chemical pregnancy or some other awful horrible thing is happening up in there.  I don’t know why the line on 13DPO would be so strong compared to the others.  Aside from no AF I am otherwise asymptomatic.

I am so scared and worried.  I really really really don’t wanna have another miscarriage.  Take those “reallys” and multiply them by the highest number imaginable and you’ll have my really real feelings.

hCG is supposed to double every 48 – 72 hours so my tests don’t make sense.  The strongest line should be on 15DPO.

Trying to stay positive my hCG levels could still be too low to detect.  I’m hoping that’s the case as 15DPO is barely 2 weeks PG if I am in fact PG.

I’m scared.  I’m worried.  I don’t want to go to work.

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