Japan · Life · Mental Health

On mental health, moving, 55, and work…

Oh hi there blog, I’m not ignoring you I swear.  I’m knee deep in moving.  I’m not gonna lie.  Things have been too stressful.  Last night something small set me off and within 30 minutes I was lying on the floor in a puddle of my own snot and tears.  It wasn’t my finest moment.  It soon erupted into a fight because my husband still does not know how to deal with issues of mental health.  (Mine of which include anxiety and depression, and while I can keep them subdued most of the time, sometimes they spontaneously erupt when life is difficult.)  In Japan, mental health problems are seen as shameful and are brushed under the proverbial rug.  There is very little care for those who have these issues.  There are no therapists.  There’s no one Japanese people can talk to their problems about.  That’s one reason why I feel there are so many suicides here.  A friend of mine once employed a Skype therapist to help her deal with her issues.  Yeah, it’s rough here for people with mental health issues.

Literal floor to ceiling boxes.

In addition, I’m drowning in moving boxes.  We made 3 To-Do Lists this weekend to keep us on task and we planned out the rest of this month.  We move on the 3oth.  Our stuff will be in transit for one day, so the day they take our stuff, we’ll travel to a nearby city and stay at a hotel.  I say nearby because we couldn’t find a hotel welcoming pets in our new home city.  The next morning (October 1st), we’ll start our new life in our new home.  I’ll spend about a month there getting everything set up.  Then, I’m off to Canada to visit Naru and later Seattle to visit my cousin before heading to visit my family.  The rest of the year is booked.

Meanwhile, I’m counting down my working days.  Eight more left which can’t come soon enough.  Today was particularly horrible, and I was crying while talking to my boss asking for some support.  I’ve covered for my absent coworkers and am helping people out left and right.  No one is helping me.  I swear this transfer was the best thing to ever happen to us.  I can leave that god awful soul crushing place.  I’ve been so tainted that I feel like I never want to work again.

Finally, what you’ve all been waiting for right?  TTC talk.  I’m on CD 55.  You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.  A 55 day cycle.  I’ll be visiting my doctor when I’m in The States to try to get some answers here.  This is ridiculous.  It’s like my body foresaw all this coming a decided to hide my eggs.  I’m inclined to agree.  We’re not really in any shape to be trying for a baby.  Life is throwing us all kinds of other stress right now, and we’re at max capacity.  Yes, I’m sad about it.  But, on the other hand, I’m trying not to dwell on something I can’t control, and unfortunately I can’t control my ridiculous egg hoarding body.

If I have some time before we move I’ll update you on how things are going praying a stack of boxes doesn’t fall on me.  Thanks for sticking around if you’re still here.  I’ll do better with the updates once the stress has left the building.

Princess (needs) Serenity

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5 thoughts on “On mental health, moving, 55, and work…

  1. Thinking about you Pink! I know this has been so so hard for you and your husband. I am so sorry that you have to go through this in another country and that your husband doesn’t understand. I am glad you will be home to see a doctor and get some answers! Too bad you are on the West coast, I would love to meet up with you!

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  2. It sounds like hell right now. Where in earth is your support system? The Japanese hate this kind of weakness in general. Please come home for awhile. If your family is not helpful please please start looking for local resources. I of course am a believer and so in hard times I reach toward my savior. It has been immensely helpful during many a crisis.

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  3. Gosh, that does sound like a lot to deal with. I can understand the mental health problems in combination with a soul crushing job so well. I wish you all the best and hope, that the last days will go by in a blur.
    Starting in a new location can be stressful as well, especially when the partner doesn’t know how to deal with mental problems. Sending good thoughts your way and keeping my fingers crossed, that you will find your strength without breaking

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