Japan · Life · Mental Health

Something to be absorbed in…

The other day I was speaking to Motoki.  He said he’d been up late playing the guitar because he needed (his words) “something to be absorbed in”.  The main reason why Motoki is one of my favorite people in the wide world is because we’re so much alike.  After all, don’t we form friendships with people who are most like us?  (And relationships with those who are opposite us it seems.)   Motoki and I think the same way about things.  It’s very rare to meet a Japanese person with such a Western style though process, and while he did live abroad, he was still born and bred Japanese, so the fact that we’re so alike is often surprising to me.  Anyway, on being absorbed in something, my goodness do I know that feeling well.  For a while, I was absorbed by thoughts of Eiru and the past which led to my being absorbed in the novel.  Then, I became absorbed in Pokémon Go.  Then we got word of the transfer, and I became absorbed in moving.  Now I’m absorbed in sorting out my new life and home, preserving friendships, and talking to people I miss so terribly.

Today my heart is heavy.  I know that I must take things day by day.  Build a new life in a new place.  Meanwhile, I internally struggle with the sadness I feel leaving my old life behind.  Prince Endymion is consumed with work.  He’s been promoted which means I already see him less (and I didn’t think that was even possible).

I don’t know where I was going with this.  My thoughts have become cloudy like the weather that’s plagued Japan since the start of September.  It’s been cloudy and rainy almost every day.  A friend of mine said the Japanese news noted there were only 3 sunny days in September.  How can people live like this?  I am a child of the sun (despite my moon pseudonym – though I do prefer night to day and just go ahead and try to figure out that paradox).

I want…I want…to find some joy here in my new life and my new city.

Princess (silent) Serenity

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