So many thoughts swimming in my head…

I had a job interview today.  Basically, I killed it in there because I am an awesome person and almost no one in Japan can beat my experience.  I would be a blessing onto any company really.

Let me rewind.  Since forever I’ve had a hard time making decisions.  I’m sure at my own birth I had a hard time deciding whether or not to exit.  When I have a decision to make especially the big kind, I am in literal agony.  You may think this sounds dramatic.  It’s just me.  Chalk it up to being a Libra, I guess (or someone with anxiety).  Anyway, so this is the second job I’ve applied for and interviewed for.  Regarding this job, today was my second interview.  They want to have a third.  I can’t say for sure, but I guess they really want me for this job.  It’s within my field, of course, but somewhat new territory and that sounds exciting to me.  However, while blazing that new territory, the jobs sounds like a lot of work.  Now, I am certain I mentioned this before but in Japan, a person’s priority is their job.  Their job allows them to care for their family while being removed from most of the familial interactions.  It was once explained to me that this is how Japanese men care for their families (monetary care).  As well you know, I am not Japanese.  I am very much American especially when it comes to work.  In that, I work my 9 to 5, and then I go home.  I almost never take work home with me.  According to my father, those things need be kept separate.  Of course, the prince is the opposite of this.  He works longs hours.  He brings work home with him every night.  He works at home on weekends.  Now with the promotion he’s received, this has intensified.

So my first red flag was that this job might entail long hours.  Did I mention Japanese workers work overtime of their own volition?  They are not paid any extra.  How insane is that, right?  The company would hire me directly.  However, to find potential employees, they are working with a placement company.  After the interview, I spoke to the placement guy and told him quite candidly that I would not be working unpaid overtime.  My second red flag was that the building looked old and the interview room did not have AC.  (I’m sure you all remember my time with Nemesis and how much I need AC to survive in Japan.)  During the interview I was sweating profusely partially due to being hot and having everything covered, partially due to nerves,  and partially due to the complete lack of AC.  It’s been quite humid here despite the fact that temps have dropped.  Yesterday they spiked back up and the humidity is awful (worse than my previous city).  Additionally, this would be a full time position so I’d have to kiss my cushy  part time life goodbye.  Did I mention the commute is about one hour?  It’s longer than my last commute but not by much (only 15 minutes longer).

Perhaps my candid first impressions relayed to the placement company cost me the job.  I told him to pad my response.  To say that I would be interested in the job but I have some concerns.  Now I don’t know the technical aspects of the job.  Apparently these are conveyed to the placement company, and there can be negotiation on my part especially in terms of salary.  This I like.  I may be able to forget about the amount of work and the heat (maybe) if I can afford to fill my bathtubs up with ice cubes everyday.  That doesn’t really sound lucrative does it?  Anyway, salary and holidays may make this job sound more appealing.

Now, I don’t have to take the job.  Of course, that’s my right as a person searching for a job.  The opportunities are smaller in this smaller city, but it also may be too early to start searching for jobs that start in April 2017.  Right now there’s not much out there.  If I decide not to take this job I still have a chance to search for positions which start in April (as that describes most positions).  There is also the “well duh” moment that the job hasn’t even been offered to me yet, so I’m definitely counting chickens.

Then there’s TTC to take into consideration.  I thought I would enjoy not working and while I do.  I absolutely do not enjoy not having my own money.  I do not enjoy being lonely all day and seeing no one.  (If this what being a mom is like, count me out.)  If I had been unemployed in my previous city, I would have enjoyed it more because I could hang out with my friends, but here I have no one.  Also, it’s day 92, so  I’m sure you can guess how TTC is going.  It’s not going anywhere.

Sigh.  I hate decisions.

What do you think?  I’d appreciate any thoughts you might have on this job search business.  (Naru, I hope you’re reading this so we can talk tomorrow).

Edit: I just talked to Motoki (like on the phone, can you believe!).  He offered some advice since the position I interviewed for is very similar to what he does at my old job.  He said that if the job has someone to work collaboratively with then the job will be much easier but if I have to do it solo, if will be very difficult and a lot of work.  My fear exactly.

Unrelated, it was so good to hear his voice, and he made me laugh and I felt like I wasn’t a million miles away (hyperbole obvi they use km here).  We talked for good a 30 minutes, and before he got off the phone to get on the train, I heard the familiar train announcement of the station near my old workplace.  I felt so 懐かしい (nostalgic), and now my heart is so full and happy.  My favorite thing Motoki says is “bye for now”.  Goodbye seems too finite to him, but “bye for now” means we’ll talk again, and I love that sentiment.  We’re never done.  We have too much to say to each other.

So bye for now,
Princess Serenity

2 thoughts on “So many thoughts swimming in my head…

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