Life · Mental Health · The Novel

Incomplete people…


This is the prince’s life.  Yep.  I know it.  I accept it.  Doesn’t mean I have to like it.  In fact, I downright hate it.

What’s new?  Well, I booked this plane ticket to go to America in August.  The prince has known about my flight since then.  He conveniently has an appointment so can’t help me lug all my shit (3 suitcases) to the airport.  He’s enlisted the help of his father who has a car to cart me to the airport.  However, his father can only take me at 10AM.  My flight is at 4:30PM.  That’s 6.5 hours at the airport.  Then it’s a 9.5 hour flight.  Then it’s hit the ground running with Naru and family as we can’t check into the hotel as it’ll be morning when I arrive.  That’ll be over 16 hours without a shower (and I’m hoping layers can cover the stank).  I likely won’t sleep as I  often have trouble sleeping in cramped planes.  So far I’m not looking forward to all that traveling.  FML.

Two days ago when I talked to Motoki after Endymion had been awful, we talked about books.  I don’t know why, but that prompted me to tell him about my book.  (Hey, remember that novel that I’m sometimes writing?)  Today Motoki sent me a message saying he was feeling depressed.  Motoki is my dear friend.  (You really take people you see every day for granted don’t you?).  I told you before I felt like I failed him as a friend when he was on leave.  I’ll be damned if I let that happen again.  So I asked him if I could help or if he wanted to talk.  He said a message that I sent him earlier sounded a bit poetic and he wondered if it was something from the novel.  It wasn’t, and I said that I’m naturally very poetic to which he agreed.  He said he’d like to read the novel someday.  I told him it was full of naughty language like “fuck” and “shit”.  Side note: I don’t know if I mentioned this to you but Endymion HATES when I cuss.  It’s probably part of his Japanese breeding that taught him that women should be delicate little flowers.  Well, I’m sure he found out quickly that I am not a delicate anything.  I am loud, brash, and I swear.  Endymion gets really pouty when I swear, so I try to keep it at bay when I’m around him (to preserve my own sanity), but it sometimes comes out in torrents around other people and most definitely in the novel.  When I told Motoki about the novel swearing he said, “Can’t wait.”  That made me feel amazing.  But I wanted to say something else, something to make him feel better, so I said (and don’t ask me why this particular thing sprang to my mind at that moment, but it did):

You know what I think…I think none of us are complete people, and I think that the people we meet and who become special to us fill in those big gaping holes we have.  You’re one of those people.

He felt that was a big compliment, and I said it was only the truth.  How can we be complete people when we’re brought into the world screaming and cold?  Especially when the world has so many people to introduce us to in our lives, so many people to warm that chill.  I want to spend less time taking people for granted and more time showing people that I care for them immensely.  Sometimes, I think I’m not very good at that.  I’m a constant work in progress.  We all are.  Striving to be complete people.

Incomplete Princess Serenity



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