Life · Mental Health

I don’t wanna talk about it…

Things I don’t wanna talk about today:

  1. My FB friend’s baby announcement.
  2. My FB friend’s delivery room photos.
  3. My FB friend’s 1 year birthday post for her daughter.
  4. My FB friend’s pregnancy belling painting announcement.
  5. MY FB friend’s last few weeks of her pregnancy.
  6. My FB friend’s tricked-you-into-reading-this fake twin announcement.

People can fuck right off today.

In true Endymion/Mamoru style, the prince decided he’d start a fight with me during our once weekly video calls.  Cue 1 hour of crying and making a snotty mess of myself.  This is another thing I don’t wanna talk about.

It’s day 123.  How awesome is that!  My cycle is the length of 4 normal cycles!  And I don’t wanna talk about it.

I had a bad night a couple nights ago.  I was up almost all night got maybe 3 hours of sleep.  I don’t wanna talk about it, but basically someone made a huge mistake, and I got screwed because of it.  So my anxiety decided not to let me sleep even though the problem eventually got solved.

The next day I talked to Motoki and told him that I had a bad night.  He said he had a bad night too.  I swear we’re twins a few years apart.  He thinks we’re probably twins too.  Like minded, with fragile wiring but the same sense of the world and the ability to find humor in similar things, dark or light.  It’s beautiful, poetic, but tragic.  That the moment we have the strongest connection we are separated and thrown into the rough waters to tread (me more so) alone.  I said that I wished our twin connection wasn’t always so turbulent.  To which he agreed.

I don’t wanna talk about being alone.  Being lonely in America and in Japan.  I’d rather not talk about anything right now.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s