Life

Another day, a better day, a no better day…

Facebook has been unkind to everyone lately.  People cannot stop shoving their babies in other people’s faces.  There’s a new birth, bringing a baby home from the hospital, and a pregnancy announcement all with in the last couple of days.  Happy Thanksgiving indeed.  Of course, they don’t think of how their posts affect infertile couples.  They just want family and friends to share in their joy.  Meanwhile, we infertile couples sit silently in the shadows in unexpressed agony.  Why would those people share in our pain?  Why would they care?  Then who can we talk to?

I spoke to Naru today who’s just the best friend anyone could ever have.  She let me cry on her virtual shoulder and offered me a place of respite if I need it.  I felt a little bit better after talking with her.  Not quite ready to love every second of my time here but well enough to trudge through (or walk on eggshells through).

Things with the prince and I are fine at the moment.  We’ve agreed to table baby talk until we can sit down and talk face to face and form a plan.  For me, this sits just fine as there is no sense in stressing or worrying about it because there’s nothing we can do about it right now.  We’re not seeing a fertility specialist in the US, and there’s no trying for anything anyway as we’re in different countries and I’m on day 130 of the never ending cycle.

Tonight Mom and sister and niece and I went to dinner.  Dinner was fine.  After dinner my sister wanted my mom to help her put medicine in my niece’s eyes because it had been difficult for her.  My sister’s way of asking was the polite “You’re coming in the house to help me.”  Not the way I would have asked, but I kept my mouth shut.  The medicine fiasco ended up with my sister shouting at my mom for not helping her properly and then my mom abruptly dragging me out of the house after she’d had enough of the yelling.  So yeah, good night.  (Cue sarcastic eye roll now.)  And yeah I get that it is super hard to single parent a child, but she is overly critical of anyone who tries to help her as we peons know nothing about child rearing.  She pushes people away constantly especially when she is frustrated with my niece and things aren’t going smoothly.  I love my little niece to pieces and, of course, I want to spend time with her, but my sister brings rain to everyone’s parade damn near every single day lately.

Please let the remaining holidays go by quickly, so I can go back to my beautiful and peaceful Japan.

Princess (please send) Serenity

 

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