Life · Mental Health

The will…

Today was not off to a good start to begin with.  At 7:30AM ON A SATURDAY some loud machine type noise came pouring through our paper thin windows, and I couldn’t go back to sleep.  I groggily got out of bed reluctant to start the day.  The prince greeted me with a warm hug this morning though, so I couldn’t be too crabby.

We ate breakfast, talked about travel, didn’t do anything really exciting, and then ate lunch.  Today he’s away all day at for a seminar.  When I asked him about what time he’d leave, he said that he wanted to arrive at the Shinkansen (bullet train) station an hour before his departure.  At that point, I started to cry.  Tears rolled down my cheeks (not big dramatic sobs).  I don’t know why this happened.  It just happened.  When she saw this, Small Lady left her bean bag bed and came and put her two paws on my leg.  She has excellent intuition for my sad times since she’s been around for the worst of the worst.  I couldn’t help but pick her up and kiss her face.  She’s literally the best dog.  I resolved to walk the prince partway to the station with Small Lady in tow.

When I got back to the house, I decided I had had enough of this day, showered, and climbed back into bed.  Earlier in the day I thought I’d go to a Meetup, but I can’t even think about doing that now.

There are a lot of things I want right now.  Having the will to do them is what’s difficult.  I wish depression didn’t make you feel this way.  Do you think it would be less stigmatized if it gave you boundless energy?  I guess we’ll never know.

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One thought on “The will…

  1. I notice the same thing, it is so energy sapping and your will goes with it. One thing I do now is use the 5 minute rule. No matter what the task I only commit 5 minutes. Even with a tiny amount of energy or willpower 5 minutes is not insurmountable. Try it and see what happens.

    Liked by 1 person

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