Japan · Life · Mental Health

Infertility, news, & mental health…

Today my Facebook erupted with post after post about Beyoncé and her twin pregnancy.  Sure it’s a great reprieve from the shitstorm the president is creating and post after post about all the horrible things that are happening in the US, and I’d like to be happy for Bey, but I can’t.  This is what infertility does to a person.  Every pregnancy is a constant reminder that you struggle with getting pregnant.  You can’t see anything else but their pregnancy.  It doesn’t matter if they struggled in the past.  It only matters that they are successful in doing something you haven’t done yet.  I hate that infertility does that to me (and anyone else it makes feel that way too).  Even if we express happiness at a person’s pregnancy, it still hurts us.

They say that “no news is good news”.  I think this must apply to everything except job searching.  In the job search it should actually be “no news is bad news”.  You didn’t get the job(s) you interviewed for.  Your résumé didn’t impress potential employers enough to receive an interview.  You didn’t wow your interviewers.  You suck.  Company K had sent me an email about interviewing with them a little over a week ago.  I promptly responded to the email and received no response.  I sent a follow up email yesterday.  How long should I wait until I contact them again?  I don’t know the etiquette there.  Meanwhile, no job offers this morning, no interviews, no new postings.

In other news I managed to get out of bed at 10AM.  I ate breakfast, fed Small Lady, and I folded and put in a load of laundry.  I am not touching the dishes though.  Those can wait.  See most of the time I function pretty well (and if you’re just joining this blog you caught me at a really bad time in my life).  I saw this article today and I thought it described me perfectly.  Whereas Motoki had to take a leave, I could still go to work every day.  Sometimes it was harder to go in than other days.  One day I had an anxiety attack over which clothes to wear and barely got myself out the door.  I thought about calling in sick that day.  In America, I sometimes took mental health days.  It was easier to do there than it is to do in Japan.  Like I’ve said many times, this is a country that doesn’t look too fondly on those with mental health issues.

I guess that’s it for today.  No news is bad news, so I provided you with my news (not that it’s particularly good news anyway).  Back to online browsing, watching TV, and generally existing.  I hope this life gets more interesting soon.

8 thoughts on “Infertility, news, & mental health…

  1. I’m sorry things are looking so grim. I’m not sure what things you enjoy, but perhaps take a day and play tourist and eat all the chocolate you can fit in your belly?
    And we’ll done for doing the laundry! I’m so far behind it would almost be easier just to buy new things and throw out the dirty ones, but one needs money for that. Hope Motoki helps with the dishes 💓


    1. Ha Motoki isn’t my husband just my friend. Mamoru/Endymion is my husband and he often helps with the dishes but only on weekends. On weekdays it’s my job. 😕


  2. Honestly, I’m thrilled for Bey as she has suffered miscarriage like me and has also struggled to conceive, finally taking the IVF road. Not that I’m going gaga over it since I’m preparing for round six of IVF, but I am trying my hardest to support the women who make it to the other side 🙂


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