Life · Mental Health

Cloudy outside and cloudy inside…

I’m on the Shinkansen back home.  I never thought I’d say that, but yes it’s home.  I’ve left sunny Tokyo behind, and a little over an hour into my trip the sky is plagued with clouds.  I imagine it’ll be like that at home too.

Demande messaged me last night and scheduled our meetings for later in the week.  I’m disappointed with the frequency this week (only 2 as opposed to 3) especially since I spent a lot of money in Tokyo which I could easily recoup in less than 2 weeks if I had a full plate with Demande.  Nevertheless, I’m actually grateful and I’m hoping the dentist can get me in either Monday or Tuesday.

Depression is still heavy on me today too.  I’ve been crying.  I cried on the JR, I cried inside Tokyo Station, and I cried on the Shinkansen already.  Not counting the hopeful tooth fixing, I plan to spend Monday and Tuesday curled up in bed, buried under covers, and likely crying.  Depression wants me in bed, and I’m happy to oblige.

Also, I’ve not got much of an appetite.  I couldn’t finish breakfast, and I couldn’t finish lunch either.  I don’t even want to think about dinner.  This fucking tooth will be the best diet ever.

That’s all the news really.  I’m severely depressed, I’m going home (yes, home), my fucking tooth hurts, and I can’t eat properly.  I hope you’re having better days.

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