You have to change…

Today this wind and cold was just awful.  Why isn’t winter over yet?

Demande was late again today.  An hour and 10 minutes this time.  I can’t really complain I guess since he paid me in advance just to sit there for an hour and charge my headphones (which is good because I might have imploded had the battery died while I was out braving the real world today).

I updated the Charts tab.  Since that bitch AF came early, I started Cycle #12.  Even though this is 12 cycles, it’s over a year TTC (since I had one cycle the length of at least 3).  So since it’s a new cycle it’s time for some changes.


Before I took my trip to Tokyo, I mentioned to Demande offhandedly that I had been trying to lose weight for some time.  (Basically, the short story is that I got hurt.  I was laid up for a while.  I gained some weight.  I wasn’t happy about that.)  I’ve been weakly trying to lose it for a while now.  When I mentioned this, he said he had some suggestions to help me.  He doesn’t eat carbs and recommended I follow suit.  I thought this was impossible because I don’t eat meat.  However, for fun (or boredom whatever) I thought I’d try it while I was in Tokyo.  It actually wasn’t that hard.  I just had to steer clear of bread and other such carb filled deliciousness.  I ate veggies, eggs, beans, and cheese mostly.  Mostly.  It wasn’t too far a cry from what I normally eat at home.  I told him about this and he cheered me on a little bit.  Well, that made me feel good.  Once I got back home, of course, it was even easier to chuck the carbs, since I do almost all the shopping anyway and eat 3 meals a day on my own on weekdays.  However, yesterday I decided to get serious and bought a small notebook.  I started a food journal and documented everything I ate yesterday (and today too).  This will help me keep focused and disciplined.  I also scoured recipes, so I won’t have to skimp on taste.  Today I bought a scale (luckily it was on sale) which is something I have been afraid of for years (the scale not sales).  Even though I had already eaten breakfast, I decided to give it a try.  The last time I was weighed was when I visited the doctor in November.  It wasn’t a pretty number.  Fortunately today’s number was almost 5 kilos (about 10 pounds) lower than November’s number.  I’ll save posting the actual numbers until I feel better about them.

I’ve got to tell Mamoru about this, and I hope he’ll be supportive and not say something dickish.  So my immediate goal is to drop 5 kilos (11 pounds) with a little later goal of 10 kilos (22 pounds).  If I can do that, I’ll be under my goal weight.  If I can get under my goal weight, and can lose a couple more pounds then I’ll be at a normal BMI (which I generally believe to be bullshit anyway but then everyone can leave me the fuck alone but especially Japanese doctors).  When I start working next month, I plan to bike to work the three days a week I work since there is no direct train or bus from my house.  Other things I’m doing are mini exercises at home and yoga.  I really hope all this does the trick.  I’m really tired of hating what I see in the mirror.  I would appreciate and “rah rah” comments from my WordPress (or Kindara) cheer squad.  Demande agreed to continue to cheer me on, but I’ll take all the cheerleaders I can get.

As of right now active TTC is still off the table.  I hope that me working steadily and not haphazardly will bring some stability to my life and mental health.  That’s all that’s new for now.

5 thoughts on “You have to change…

  1. I got my pom-poms ready! I’m ready to cheer you on. 🙂

    I wish I had the fortitude to give up carbs. I’ve got myself eating a lot of veggies and fruits and weaning off the fried foods, but carbs I find hard to let go of.

    As for that BMI thing, I agree it’s BS. I’m considered underweight in the US, but doctors in Japan have classified me as “overweight”.



  2. Good luck!
    I am technically normal BMI but close to the upper end of normal and heavier than I’ve ever been. Even though I’m technically not overweight I feel big and clunky and I HATE not fitting in clothes I really like (all my weight is on my stomach/butt and I can’t even pull some skirts up never mind fasten them!). Also nothing else has worked for TTC so might as well try healthy eating/losing some weight.

    Keeping a food journal is an excellent idea. I use MyFitnessPal and at the end of each day it tells you what you would way if every day was like that. Some days that is like a kick in the teeth, but on good days it gives me extra motivation to keep being good.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! I tried using an app before but it always seemed like a chore to me. Japan is pretty old fashioned where paper is concerned (they love their paper here) so I thought I’d try it this way. I hate that part about getting older (getting bigger and metabolism slowing down). Good luck to you too! Let’s do this!


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