Life · Mental Health · Weight Loss

Weight loss and anxiety…

Nothing like stepping on the scale in the morning to cause mad anxiety.  Five days ago the scale read xx.8kg, and then the following two days it read xx.7kg, on the 25th it read xx.3kg and I tried not to get too excited, but that felt pretty awesome.  The past two days it has read xx.6kg which has led me to believe the xx.3kg was a fluke somehow.  During this time I had an alcoholic beverage with soda (ginger ale) in it, and I thought I might have fucked things up with that.  Last night I made tofu steaks and the sauce had sugar in it, but since we bought the sauce from a local cafe, there was no nutrition information on the bottle, so there’s no telling how many carbs were in it.  All this is making me crazy.  The scale had shown a consistent decline in my weight and suddenly I’m stagnating.  Of course, I’m blaming myself.  Was it that soda?  Was it the alcohol?  What was it?  Did I eat something I shouldn’t have?  Did my serving size not match what the recipe said?  I know all this is silly.  I know that.  But anxiety doesn’t know that.  Anxiety likes to make you worry about stupid shit.  ALL.  THE.  TIME.  See my logical brain part says that xx.3kg was a super fluke and that xx.6 actually shows weight loss from xx.7kg, but my anxious brain part says “you fat!”.  I hate that kilograms are so fucking sensitive.  Basically I’ve lost 4 pounds but only 2.2kg and if I  consider the xx.3 weight I’ve lost 5 pounds but only 2.6kg.  How is this fair?  Fucking math.

I need to just get on with my day and forget about this shit.  I need to take Small Lady for a walk and then run up to ドンキ and likely have a nap.  Yes, a nap would be wonderful.  Basically, I’m “on call” for Demande if he needs me today.  It’s still tentative because he’s likely not awake yet as it’s not quite morning for him (which usually occurs between 1PM and 3PM).  Must be nice to be a night owl like that.  I’d prefer that actually.  Yesterday Mamoru woke up early and started cleaning like crazy and he was super 元気 and I just wanted to punch him in the face and go back to bed (which I couldn’t do because he was being so damn noisy).  I hate mornings.

Was that enough complaining about everything today?  I hope you’re doing better than I am.

 

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3 thoughts on “Weight loss and anxiety…

  1. My personal opinion is that you are being really hard on yourself. Being that we are our own worst critics maybe don’t focus so much on the scale everyday. For me, because weight fluctuates on a daily basis-sometimes by the hour I can’t step on a scale because it does awful things to my mind and my motivation. With that said, if you are both exercising and eating well I would take a break from the scale and just focus on those two things. What I did was take measurement of my biceps, my bust, my waist, my thighs and my calfs and then step on the scale to get my before weight. Then, I bravely took a before picture of myself in front of the mirror. I then set a goal for myself on a specific day to come back to these measurements/weight and the before picture to see what changes have been made with what I am doing. If there have been no improvements then I modify and keep trying to change something to get to my best self. Stepping off the scale was the best thing I’ve done and I feel so much more motivated-I have to keep reminding myself that results won’t happen overnight!

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  2. My scales are in kg and my weight fluctuates like mad. I also have the type that shows you your body fat percentage and even I can tell that it’s totally inaccurate – it makes no sense for it to be 30.2% one day and 28.5% the next! I have read it is based on water though, so if you drink a lot of water the scales will register your % body fat as lower. *Sigh*

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