Japan · Life

Radio silence…

I’ve been kind of quiet the past few days.  Nothing of consequence has happened really…until this weekend.

Mamoru is currently sleeping on the sofa.  It’s not nighttime.  In fact, it’s past noon.  He’s been sick for the past 5 days or so.  He went to the doctor but he’s not showing marked improvement, and my reasoning behind this is because he’s not taking care of himself properly (ie. drinking enough fluids, getting enough rest).  Also, he’s likely got a virus and no medicine that the doctor gave him is going to cure that.  Only rest and his immune system will do that.  It doesn’t help that he works himself until he’s near dead every night, and it also didn’t help that we had planned a trip for this weekend (just an overnight trip nothing fancy).

We went up to the Japan Alps which is amazingly beautiful and so very white.  I understand snow blindness now.  Good thing I brought my sunglasses.


Mainly we went to see 雪の大谷 which is the snow wall.  It’s basically snow piled up over the season and machines have to cut through the snow and it stacks on the side of the road.  It’s hard to explain, so here:



The highest part of the wall was 19 meters.  It’s pretty awesome.  That was yesterday and for the most part it was a good day despite Mamoru’s sickness and my later stomachache.

Friday however was a horrible day.  On Friday part of the trip was to go to Shirakawago and another nearby town.  Both places we had already been to, so we weren’t too jazzed about either.  The only good thing was cherry blossoms were still in bloom there.  Other than that Shirakawago was quite brown due to the snow recently melting (but when we went there before it was lush and green and lovely).

On Friday night we got to the hotel.  It was part of a tour group so we didn’t have a choice of hotel.   The first awful thing (besides the chocolate fountain at dinner with only cakes – no fruit) was that the room reeked of smoke.  It was unbearable how bad it smelled.  The second awful thing was that there was no heater (and it was chilly).  Apparently it was the “warm season”, so the hotel automatically turns their units to be AC only.  Stupid.  Thinking we could warm up in the hotel spa, we went downstairs to find the third awful thing which was that the hotel had a big nasty sign that said no tattoos (actually it said not 入れ墨 which are the very specific yazuka style tattoos).  When my husband asked the front desk, they said not even gaijin with tattoos can go in the spa.  I’ve mentioned my hatred for this rule before (and not just because I have tattoos).  It’s incredibly old fashioned not to mention discriminatory.  If it still exists in 2020 when the Olympics hit Tokyo, Japan is going to come under a lot of fire.  Anyway I told Mamoru that he could go to the spa but he refused and accompanied me back to the room.  In the elevator because I was tired (we had been up since 6AM), frustrated, and annoyed with this bullshit hotel, I started to tear up.  Mamoru chose the exact wrong thing to say at that moment that I just had to “accept it”.  When we got back to the room, that’s when the fight began (a full on screaming, crying, cussing fight).  I told him no I absolutely did not have to accept such a discriminatory rule.  I have to follow it (which I did), but I don’t have to accept it.  He didn’t understand the difference between these two concepts (which I didn’t find too fucking complex).  In the end this was a classic example of Mamoru siding with Japan rather than me.  He seems to think I think America is the greatest country in the whole world and can do no wrong.  (Sure, I think America is great but it’s not perfect.  Donald Trump, violence, and at times it’s unsafe come to mind.)  I’ve chosen to make Japan my home.  I love this country, but it is also not perfect (racism, old ways of thinking, and difficultly in learning Japanese spring to mind).  In the end I was able to get Mamoru to see that he took the side of his country over his wife, and we made up (but since he was sick not with sex).  This cycle we haven’t had sex at all, and his argument for that was it’s never good timing.

Anyway, now he’s on the sofa, and he slept there last night on purpose claiming he didn’t want me to get sick.  So yeah marriage is hard kids.  It’s hard when you first get married, and it’s hard again when you go through a huge life change.  I anticipate more difficulties in the future.

I want to end with some good though.  On Thursday last week I wrapped up my first two weeks at Company H.   I must say I LOVE IT!  It’s not a lucrative job, but it’s mostly easy (minus some stress having to do with problems caused by a grossly incompetent guy in the office) and super fun.  I have met so many wonderful people in such a short time.  Next week I’m moving to the main location for two weeks and then I’m back to the other location (which I’m more looking forward to).  I’m happy to be working again, and I’m happy to have a good job.

2 thoughts on “Radio silence…

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