Sorry. Long post here.
Last night I went out with Kotono and my yoga teacher and a (gay) dude from yoga. I told Mamoru I would do this beforehand. I also told him that I had my bicycle, so I may stay out later than last train. All this I communicated to him before my evening started. I did yoga. We went to an izakaya and had some drinks and ate some food. The first drink I ordered was 90% sugar, so I pawned it off on the dude and ordered a tequila cocktail which happily ended up tasting like a margarita. It was nice. Close to the time we ,left a Japanese friend of my yoga teacher’s showed up with two tourists from the hostel where he was staying. One dude was soft spoken and nice but the other dude was a real epic piece of shit. He asked me where I was from and my standard response is “America” but then he pressed me for the state. When I told him, he prejudged me as a fierce conservative (of which I am the opposite as if the feminist to my right and the gay dude to my left didn’t actually scream loud enough). He continued on this track of labeling me and I’m not sure if he meant to be funny or not but after about 5 seconds of his bullshit I’d had enough of him. We left the izakaya, and they wanted to go to a club. I wasn’t keen on it because of the cost (hey I’m still only a PT worker), and I was just at a club last weekend. What am I 21? After walking around for a while, they gave up on the club and headed into a gaijin heavy bar. Kotono had run out of money and I offered to accompany her to the ATM. She tired to say it would be no trouble, but I told her I wanted to be away from that tourist douche for as long as possible. The gay dude agreed and tagged along. Once the three of us got to the bar, they had already made some new friends (two Japanese dudes). I sat down next to one, chatted him up, and found out he was an English major and an absolute baby but super nice. Later douchewaffle attempted to troll for chicks and failed since the ratio of chicks to dudes in the bar was 1 to 5. (It was very dude heavy much to the happiness of my yoga teacher.) The Japanese boys left and my yoga teacher attempted to get everyone to play darts but I hung out at the table guarding bags (even though I live in Japan and no one steals your shit here, generally speaking). I sat at the table alone ogling the table next to me which was full of Japanese people who were having an absolute blast playing Jenga and Crocodile Dentist. One dude with long hair wearing the coolest fucking shirt saw my lonely puppy dog eyes and kept bring the croc over to me to play. It made for some good laughs. After last train the bar started to die out. I didn’t bring my bike to where we were because it’s a clusterfuck of people, so since we all lived in the same general area, Kotono, gay dude, and I walked back two stations where my bike was parked. At this point it was close to 1AM. Of course, I told Mamoru what I was doing. I’m a fucking expert at communication. Then about 1:30AM I split from my friends, got on the bike, and pedaled home slowly. I got home about 2AM. Not before Mamoru texted me that he was going to sleep. I crashed happy to have a good late (but not too late) night with friends.
In the morning Mamoru was kind of a dick to me which erupted into a full blown fight with tears spilling down my face and me screaming. Basically WTF was his problem when I communicated to him everything that I was doing? He started by saying I stayed out too late even though I told him that’s what I was going to do. I reminded him that he had stayed out late in the past without texting me and leaving me worried and anxious. Not only that but I was with friends whom I checked in with and posted pictures of on Facebook. It’s not like I was out fucking a bunch of dudes gang bang style. Then we got to the actual problem which was as he said, he was envious of me. I told him of course he’s free to drink with his coworkers. He’s free to hang out with his friends (the majority of whom live in the next city over, his hometown). He said “I can’t”. He claims he has too much work to do, and literally he cannot have any fun ever. I said he needs to take a big long look at the problem. It’s his company not me he should be angry with. They transferred and promoted him tacking on all that excess work. Additionally, I’m sure we all remember how fucking miserable I was for MONTHS without a soul to spend my days with except Small Lady (who of course is the best non-human person in the world but sometimes we all crave human contact). Remember how I felt? I swear to crap Japanese people cannot fucking empathy. (Yes, I wrote it like that on purpose as an inside joke for those who live in Japan.) So he’s overworked and exhausted and I’m trying to make his life easier. I didn’t bitch at him for sleeping on the sofa the past 3 days. When he naps away our Sunday, I only tell this blog. I make dinner for him. I do his laundry. I asked “How can I make your life (even) easier?” He said he didn’t know. I can’t give him less work or less stress. I can’t force him to hang out with his friends. I did say he’s free to see them on weekends if he wants to take time away from our weekend time. It’s fine really as I’ve been doing that especially since he usually ends up working at home then anyway which has made our previously fun weekends quite boring. We resolved things for the time being, put on our happy couple faces and went to a mediocre buffet and then a festival.
It seems I am on a plateau in a number of ways. Mamoru and I are on a plateau because things between us haven’t really gotten better, but they are not really getting worse. They are just kind of on a plateau. Additionally, I’ve hit my weight loss plateau. The number isn’t getting smaller, but at least it’s not getting bigger either. I guess I’ll keep doing what I’ve been doing and hope I can climb down from this plateau. I still have 4kg left! Only 4, come on!
So my weekend started off mostly fun and then was shitty and then normalcy returned. I’m hoping to sneak out and see Kotono for coffee tomorrow. Hopefully Mamoru won’t be sore about that since I promised to cook him dinner and he’s just gonna work (and nap) all day tomorrow anyway. Ah just another weekend in the super fun adventures of me.