Nothing is like it should be. I really like Ariana Grande. I would go to one of her concerts. I would never think I could possibly be hurt at a concert. Had I been in Manchester I would have been wrong. I’ve seen a lot of news today. Celebrities have spoken out. Musicians have spoken out. I am a serious music lover. A lifelong concertgoer. I’m so sick that children and adults who gathered to share their love of music were hurt and killed. The world can be equally a beautiful place and yet an ugly place at the same time. Forgive me if I only want to see beauty in the world. I wish everyone strove for this. That’s all I can say right now. Stay strong Manchester. We love you and the wonderful music and people you’ve sent us over the years.
Demande has gone off grid again. Last talk on Saturday we had was hopeful. However, he was depressed (post cat) so I did my best to cheer him up. He was thankful for my friendship, but I couldn’t tell if his spirits were actually lifted. Last we spoke was Saturday. I messaged him Sunday to check on him. Nothing. I messaged him Monday and today. Nothing. I sincerely hope he’s not gone incommunicado again. I don’t know if my fragile mental health could take that again. Meanwhile, I’m worried.
Also, WTF is with people not messaging you back? If that ain’t the anthem of the 2010s I don’t know what fucking is. It’s bullshit because it takes two seconds to send a text message. I feel so unimportant to literally everyone. I’ve sent Motoki many messages since I saw him in March. He’s not responded to a single one. What a dickhead. Why do I always put forth so much energy (at friendship) while my friends don’t? Why do I always feel that way?
In other news Kotono would really like a boyfriend, but she doesn’t want to actually try to talk to people or find a boyfriend. I suggested that we go to a Meetup this weekend and she shot down both of my Meetup suggestions saying they were dating events (um isn’t that what she wants?) and that she had been to them in the past and she said she never had good conversations. I think she should try again as the crowd will not be all the same people. Her counter offer was a beer festival. Girl, I hate beer. She’s been out drinking with me enough times to know that I’ve never even had a sip of beer whilst out. Only cocktails. We agreed to just see each other at yoga on Sunday.
Pause: I just had squeeze the most disgusting pimple on Mamoru’s back. Eight fucking years of puss and dirt came out. I almost threw up multiple times. I told him never to forget this as of course I will be reminding him about this until the day I die.
Back to our regularly scheduled program. Bottom line is, the world can be a really shit place and all my friends suck right now (except you, Naru, I love you forever).