I’ve been nursing a wee hangover all day. Last night I went out drinking to two 外人 bars. One had butterscotch schnapps and the other, margaritas. How could I resist either of those things? I’ve drank my weight in water today, but still this headache hasn’t subsided. I had fun, so it was worth it.
So today we did domestic chores: dishes, vacuuming, making fat bombs, etc. Then Mamoru went off to work. After work he went to a beer bar with tons of beers on tap. He just messaged me now saying he’s coming home, but I want to go to bed soon. I have yoga in the morning.
I really wish I would have gone somewhere tonight too. I had several opportunities to do things. Kotono invited me out, Michiru invited me out, another friend invited me out, and there was a Meetup event I wanted to go to. I didn’t do any of those things. Instead, I took a nap and then watched some TV and as the night wore on I felt lonelier and lonelier as no one messaged me because they were all too busy having fun. Mostly I thought about Demande. I talked to Kunzite earlier this week about Demande’s second disappearance. He said that if I’m to be Demande’s friend, I need to accept that shutting himself up and away from everyone is how he deals. It doesn’t make it hurt any less. Kunzite suggested I send him random messages as opposed to messages pleading for him to speak to me. I tried it, but it’s not yet yielded a response from him. I am sick and sad about it. I really thought things were getting better for him. I can’t bear to think of him in pain. But I can’t do anything about it. I could call him, but I haven’t yet. Maybe on Monday. I mean I could give up this friendship, but I think that would be even more unbearable.
So that’s the short version of things right now. Headache from hell and a teetering friendship.