Just a quick note because I have to go to sleep.  I’m tired as fuck and I have to get up early tomorrow.  Tonight I’ve felt a deep loneliness.  I don’t know why.  Mamoru is here (though he’s not paying much attention to me).  All night I’ve felt sick with loneliness.  I just want someone to grab me, squeeze me, hug me, kiss me.  I don’t want to ask for it.  I want it to just be done because that someone wants to do it.  I don’t want to force those feelings out of someone.  It’s not happening and it’s too much to ask which hurts.  I want to be pushed up against the wall.  I want passion to bleed into the air that you could almost touch it.  I want too much, but there is so little.  There is only loneliness.

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