Just when things were seemingly going well, life has some more curve balls to throw. Fuck. Yesterday, Mamoru’s brother called him in a huff. Apparently お父さん is seriously thinking of marrying his longtime Korean girlfriend. This in and of itself is not a bad thing but it carries with it a long history of hatred and cheating. In addition, お父さん wants to sell Mamoru’s beloved childhood home (which he promised his deceased mother to maintain forever) to go live in a retirement home with New Wife. This solely stands as the ultimate betrayal to Mamoru. Now my rational suggestion is that Mamoru’s brother and wife who still live in their hometown take up residence in the childhood home and thus it stays in the family. Mamoru says he doesn’t want to do that because as Brother says “it’s too far from the station” which is ridiculous because he has a car. The next logical thing in Mamoru’s mind is to buy the house from お父さん and renovate it and rent it out. Truthfully, (despite お父さん’s inability to maintain the house to a presentable state) it’s a beautiful house and it sits on a mountain with a view of the whole small town and even the ocean. However, because it is in Mamoru’s hometown and not our current city, it would be inconvenient for Mamoru and I to live there (which is a pity because every time I’m there I think about how I could make it a beautiful home). It’s very far from both his company and Company H and would make it impractical to move there. Now I’m thinking in advance here at what a tremendous undertaking it would be to make that house presentable. お父さん doesn’t keep house very well, and it seems hoarding is in Mamoru’s genes. We would have to get rid of everything in the house (furniture and all) and box up all his mother’s possessions (to put in storage) which Mamoru refuses to part with. Of course, with my expert planning and organization skills, it can be done. I’ve managed to make every house Mamoru and I have lived in a clean and orderly one (as compared to the stacks of shit Mamoru kept at his own house when he lived alone). That doesn’t exist in our home. The final problem is that if Mamoru buys the house from お父さん, Mamoru said he will basically disown お父さん (Happy Father’s Day amirite?) and no longer speak to him which is shitty because Mamoru doesn’t have a lot of family. So this is where we’re at. A whole shit ton of family drama has just been dumped on us.
I’m at a bunch of different places. On Friday I made a new and beautiful friend who is heaps of fun. I don’t have a pseudonym for her yet, but expect that as we’ll be hanging out always. Right now I call her my “boo” because I love her to pieces. We had so much fun with Kotono and Boo’s Korean boyfriend on Friday talking, singing karaoke, drinking a lot, and laughing our faces off. It was a genuine good time. In other friend news however, Demande has decided not to speak to me for the 3rd time, and I feel like this may be the last time as I am so jaded with our “friendship” (quotes because is it even a friendship?) and don’t want to put forth any more effort into someone who just doesn’t care about me.
Then some more good and bad happened. Yesterday, someone posted on a Facebook giveaway group a free weight bench and set of weights (which is damn expensive). This lined up perfected because I had just been looking for a tattoo friendly gym in my city. I contacted him immediately and made arrangements to pick it up today. Mamoru rented a car, and we were all set to go when this absolute douchewaffle messaged me and was like “Hey I am a giant bag of dicks and didn’t communicate with my wife who promised the bench and weights to someone else. So sorry for my motherfucking douchewafflery.” (I may have not quoted that exactly.) So I had a mini breakdown. Threw my phone on the bed and started crying “I’ll be fat forever.” Mamoru consoled me and tried to make me feel better. But fuck losing weight is fucking hard man. It’s a constant battle every day. Food. Exercise. Weights. Gym? And I am, of course, my own worst enemy. Aren’t we all? It’s so hard for me to live in the present moment. Like yay 13 kilos (31 pounds) lost! Why can’t I celebrate that victory? One of my college professors was a big believer in self-rewarding. She said when we accomplish something great (like for example getting an A on a paper), we must be sure to reward ourselves. I think, have I done that enough? What do you think? I think maybe I just beat myself up too much which is probably not healthy.
So today, Mamoru and I are going to take the car we rented (now for no fucking reason thanks to Mr. Cockthistle) and go look at Fitbits, go to Costco, and go to his hometown to get some stuff from the house and maybe meet New Wife. I already cancelled attending a yoga event to be there to emotionally support Mamoru and although I was disappointed it’s family first of course (even though Michiru messaged me saying the event is shit). Kotono understands and Kunzite bailed last night, so I’m not the only one out. Today is a day to be with Mamoru, support him, and push forward. Then after we make it through today we can go on to the next and then the next. I hope you’re having a better weekend than I am.