Life · Mental Health · Music

Hi and lo…

(The spelling of the title is intentional by the way. Hint: music.)  I told you Yuichiro was in a band in my last post.  On Saturday I went to see him play and I was blown away by the whole event.  It was so charged, and Yuichiro was (how can I explain?) transported by the music.  I’m sure that statement doesn’t even explain it as well as witnessing it.  I was mesmerized because I had never seen this side of him before.  In addition, the energy he has on stage is fucking astounding.  I’ve never seen anything like it before.  He’s also an amazing singer (too good for his band in my opinion).  One of the funniest things is that his whole band addressed me as 噂のUsagi (obviously using my real name though).  Basically this translates to “the stuff of rumors” which means Yuichiro talks about me so much that they all know who I am and what I’m about without actually knowing me.  I was pretty flabbergasted to hear this and to be honest super flattered.  I felt like a fucking celebrity.  After the night was over he messaged me saying he was super happy that I connected with some of his favorite people.  I had an amazing time and seeing him in this new light in the place where he felt most comfortable and the happiest gave me a new respect for him.  I love seeing people that way, in their element.  It’s such a rare and beautiful thing especially in Japan.

On Tuesday, Shingo returned from his stint in Tokyo and of course, he’s back living with us.  He wanted to go out on that night, but I had a freelance meeting (which actually ended up getting cancelled).  I promised him Wednesday in exchange.  More than hang out time with Shingo I wanted to see Yuichiro play again.  He’s in his purest most beautiful form surrounded by this music he loves.  It’s a little different from the person I know from Company H.  So we went out to the venue, and I had intended to pay full price but Yuichiro messaged me before and met me when I got there.  He put Shingo and me on the advance list (which saved us about ¥500 each).  While I was waiting for Yuichiro at the entrance half his band walked by and shouted out “噂のUsagi!” which made me laugh.  They are all super nice.  After Yuichiro put our names on the list, I walked with him to the コンビニ to get a drink because I was still waiting for Shingo who had taken a day trip.  I wish I would have bought something for myself because I ended up drinking a lot of Yuichiro’s.  Oops.  When Shingo showed up he rushed in to save me because he thought Yuichiro was some random Japanese guy hitting on me.  I introduced them before any shenanigans could ensue.  We went inside and talked and laughed before the show started (super late of course).  Yuichiro and I have a bunch of inside jokes which revolve around Spanish and silly things we have said to each other.  I fucking love inside jokes you guys.  On one trip to Japan before I lived here the group and I had about 50 inside jokes.  It was fantastic.  Inside jokes forever.  As the night wore on Yuichiro got considerably more drunk, but he is the happiest drunk and all he wanted to do was dance, be silly, and laugh at our inside jokes.  At the end of the night he again gushed thanks because we came and walked Shingo and me to the main road where we could catch a taxi.  He sent me a message today saying thanks again, but I told him that was unnecessary as Shingo and I had a great time.

Today was a hard day at work.  Even though I don’t work very early, I only slept about 4 hours.  I cycled to Company H and not even an hour into the day I sliced my finger pretty deep on a stack of folded papers.  Fuck I didn’t even think folded papers could do that.  I spat out about 50 “fucks” and ran to the bathroom almost taking out a Japanese girl in the process.  The sight of my own blood makes me nauseous, so I had to choke back vomit.  After that I didn’t feel much like finishing my afternoon snack.  The day wore on, but it was super dead.  Yuichiro had told me the day before that he might not be around much because he’s super swamped these days.  It sucks mostly because we’ve been so slow lately and having him around makes the time fly by.  Time flies when you’re having fun right?  Close to the end of the day, trying to keep my head up and eyes open, my coworker comes back from a smoke break and says he found a bug which he brought into the office in his cigarette pouch.  He’s an old eccentric British dude, so this doesn’t surprise me one bit.  He has a bug cage on his desk which he’s been waiting to put the perfect bug into.  He decides to open the pouch and this bug flies straight for my head and I’ve never hit the ground faster in my life.  I thought this tiny asshole was going to fly straight into my head.  He finally manged to wrangle it into the bug cage at which point I proclaimed my hatred for my coworker (said partly in jest).  So my day was complete shite.  No visit from Yuichiro, sliced my finger clean open and a bug tried to headbutt me.

I feel really low right now.  I’ve been on the verge of tears all day, and I wonder if it’s because the recent highs have been so high and hi-fi (full of spectacular music which always lift my spirits).  It almost feels like a crash after a sugar high.  I’ve been listening to music from the shows on Youtube all night minus time spent in a freelance meeting.  For a moment I can be transported back, but that feeling is so fleeting.  I don’t know what more to say.  That’s how I feel right now.  So low after feeling so high for days.  I hope I can get back into the high life again.

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