Life · Mental Health

Hard…

I’m not gonna lie.  I’m having a hard time of it lately.  I’m in a bad way.  Saturday was tears.  Sunday was tears.  The root cause was the same though what sparked the tears were different, but deep down the feeling that’s causing this round of depression lurks and weighs on me heavily.  On Saturday, I talked to Naru.  As always it was helpful but this pervading emptiness lingers still.  Shingo is only here for a few more days and I’m trying to enjoy the little time we have left but it’s so very difficult to get up out of bed, to take a shower, to get dressed, to put on make-up and to leave the house.  Today my Japanese teacher canceled our lesson because of a typhoon.  A typhoon in Japan just means heavy rain, but some of my friends have been sent home from work.  I’m hiding indoors with Small Lady and watching TV and trying to feel something other than pain and emptiness.  I don’t know what to write here.  It hurts and it’s hard to put into words.  I don’t know if I had a purpose for writing this when I started writing it.  Things are hard.  Every day is hard.  I need to get back to the good.

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