Japan · Life · Mental Health · Music

More with the music…

Yesterday Mamoru and I had an ugly fight which left me sobbing in the middle of a busy restaurant floor of a shopping mall with a constant stream of people walking by.  Basically, it started with he tried to help me and I told him I didn’t need help, so he decided to pout about it, and it evolved into an ugly mess which basically revealed that he had forgotten how to take care me during my depressive episodes which was pretty shattering.  I don’t think anything was resolved.  He said he’d try to remember how to take care of me when I’m depressed, and I think in the end we were both too tired and hungry to fight any more.  At night, Rei went out, but I decided to stay in and rest exhausted from fighting.

Today I spent the afternoon, fixing a bunch of skirts/dresses that were too big and/or too long.  In the end, I basically ended up with 4 “new” skirts and a freshly shortened dress.  I took a shower and then thought I may just chill out at home.  However, I messaged Kotono seeing what she was up to.  Since she was free, we decided to get dinner at a shopping mall in between us.  At dinner we talked about our weekends and she lamented the fact that she’s sometimes very Japanese but didn’t wanna be so Japanese all the time.  Little did we know that the opportunity to be less Japanese would present itself later in the evening.  We decided to walk to the (massive) park across the street and see what was going on there since there are always things going on there.  When we got there we saw people sporting lots of reggae colors walking around and heard music.  I asked Kotono if she wanted to check it out.  She obliged and we found that it was in fact a reggae show at the open air stage.  Turns out a Japanese reggae artist I fucking love to death was playing there but the tickets were sold out.  There were people camped out on the side of the venue listening to the music and Kotono suggested we do that, but I suggested we ask a person who was leaving for their tickets (how very un-Japanese).  Kotono screwed her courage to the sticking place and much to my utter shock and delight the guy she asked gave us two tickets and we walked in there like we owned the place.  Guys, these tickets were ¥6800 (about $70).  Holy shit I can’t believe that this happened!  I was about to cry, but I was so fucking happy.  (If this doesn’t prove the music is in me, I don’t know what will.)  Kotono and I had an absolute blast.  We saw the artist I wanted to see, we danced and drank, and made videos, and were nothing but smiles all night.  Granted we only got to see the last two hours of a show that started a 2PM but I couldn’t have asked for a happier lucky night.  I was on cloud nine all night.  In addition, Japanese reggae fans are my people for real.  They are happy, they are tan, they are tattoo’d, and they are friendly as fuck.  These are my people for real.

Besides yoga, the thing that has been the most important to me in the city has been music.  Since I’ve managed to get a tattoo in every city I’ve lived in (including my previous one in Japan), I figured it’s about time to tick this one off the list much to Mamoru’s chagrin.  I thought about it long and hard about what to do and designed a tattoo centered around music.  If you remember my comics, you know that I can draw.  I can draw but I’m not a tattoo artist.  So I’m gonna take my drawing to a tattoo shop here tomorrow, talk to them, and be like “hey make this into a tattoo.”  Wish me luck.  Rei is going with me for moral support.

I’ve dubbed this the Summer of Music because what better name for it?  I’ve got music deep in my veins, and it gives me life.  Hang on to the good vibes out there my wonderful readers.  Be well.

One thought on “More with the music…

  1. Wow, score on the tickets. That’s great luck!

    I have to admit on dealing with someone going through depression I’ve found it hard not to slip back into old habits. Dealing with my husband’s depression and his panic attacks have taught me how terrible my natural instincts are when it comes to that. I have to concentrate so hard to not do what’s natural to me — I want to ask him for decisions and encourage him to “buck up”.

    I look back now on how I deal with friends going through that and my reaction was like a lit match tossed on gasoline.

    My husband’s episodes have gone down dramatically since his medication, diet change, and how I deal with his episodes. He has gone over a week without a single panic attack or episode now.

    I hope your husband can learn better how to react with your depression.

    It’s always great reading your posts.


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