Japan · Life · Mental Health

Time to get back…

Hi, long time no see.  I’m in my home state at the moment and I’m having a miserable time.

Let’s back up.  California was amazing.  A beach house in Coronado, endless shopping, an impromptu trip to Disneyland, and perfect perfect weather.  What’s not to love?

Then I get to my home state and Mamoru goes back to Japan.  I get right to work helping my mom remodeling this house she bought and then get right to work actually working (something I’m fortunate my job allows me to do while stateside).  Meanwhile, people are uninterested in me.  When not at work, I lie in bed reading and every other day I’m at the pool.  I feel fat and bloated and Starbucks is my only saving grace.  I’m so tired of American food.  It’s so hard to stick to my diet because my routine is messed up (though I am trying my hardest) but I’m afraid to see the scale when I get back.  People haven’t bothered to contact me.  My own dad even blew me off.  The only saving grace is my niece who is so full of joy and laughter and unbelievable silliness.  There is a lot of me in her, my cosmic clone born under the same sign.

I’m ready to go back home.  Home to Japan.  Home to yoga and bicycle riding (fuck this driving a car everywhere).  I’m ready to go back to Rei and Yuichiro.  I’m ready to hear the music again.  I’m ready to eat lunches and have coffee with Kotono and Kunzite.  I miss my Small Lady.  I’m ready to go back to Company H (and see Yuichiro all the time) and I’m ready to get back to freelance work.  I need a return to normalcy.

America becomes super overwhelming super fast.  Yesterday I was at a shopping mall and people kept bumping into me and everywhere I went someone was standing too too close to me speaking so very loud.  I miss my beautiful peaceful and comfortable life.  I also miss a steady paycheck.  I hope this week flies by.  Last week did.

I’ll see you soon Japan.  I’ll see you soon Rei and Yuichiro.  I’ll get back to my beautiful music and my relaxing yoga.  See you soon Kotono and Kunzite.  I can’t wait to go back home.

One thought on “Time to get back…

  1. Sorry you’re miserable. I hope you manage to get some enjoyment out of the time you have left.

    I got back from my trip to Britain on Sunday at my highest weight EVER. Yep, I put on the kg I had lost plus an extra one. It’s technically my own fault because I indulged in all the food I had missed and didn’t even think about dieting, but I also went on three four-hour hikes – you would think the exercise would count for something! Ugh.


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