Japan · Life · Mental Health · Music

Anxiety, marriage, and music…

If you have anxiety, I recommend you not watch Japanese TV.  I swear to god Japanese TV is the worst garbage TV and that’s coming from someone whose home country is responsible for Jerry Springer.  Many people have suggested that the best way to learn Japanese is to watch TV, but I simply cannot.  I can’t stand it.  I can’t even describe the level of bad it is and what an assault on one’s senses it is.

Mamoru went to bed early (which means the godawful Japanese TV is off), but by went to bed it means he went to lie in bed and look at his phone.  He didn’t even want to kiss me goodnight or say “I love you” and when I asked him what was wrong, he said nothing was wrong.  I don’t know why he’s acting this way.  Sigh.

Today was a bust.  Mamoru and I couldn’t find an acceptable movie time, Rei was too busy hanging out with her dumb boyfriend, Kotono is studying for her test, and Kunzite just got back from a business trip abroad and is wiped.  I haven’t decided whether or not I wanna open the can of worms that is Demande again, so I just told him I was busy all weekend.  Yuichiro was hanging out with his girlfriend today, so he didn’t have time to talk to me.  There was a free live show promoting a CD release but I didn’t have any one to go with.  I wish Shingo was here.  He’s my favorite yes man.  Sigh.

In much better music news, I just found out about a mega show in November with a massive line up, and I’m already counting down the days.  In other music news, Yuichiro told me the singer of one of my favorite bands is pregnant and because she’s Japanese, I asked if she’s married.  (Japanese women don’t usually get pregnant without being married and if they do, a shotgun wedding comes next.)  He said she was and then he said something weird.  He said he agrees with it.  I don’t know if that’s a language issue or what.  Maybe he was trying to say that he’s happy for her.  Since I’m an incredibly shitty person, I first wondered what will happen to the music.  Will she continue making music?  Will she continue doing shows?  Isn’t she a smoker?  I know this is terrible but I know Japan and even a modern Japanese woman has trouble being anything other than a mother once she takes that job.  I really love her music.  I’ve seen her Instagram stories where she is with a couple of kids.  I assumed they were her nephews.  They could be her sons.  I hate that I know nothing about her yet I adore her so much and she’s always been so sweet to me.  I think I’m just afraid to talk to her more in depth because I’m so self conscious of my Japanese ability.  Sigh.

I gotta get to bed.  “The Defenders” is over, the Fitbit is done charging, and I’ve got to go to Company H tomorrow.  Night night all.

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