Life · Mental Health · Music

At least I have the music…

I got out of bed.  I ate breakfast.  Then I promptly crawled back into bed.  Motivation to do anything is hanging around zero.  I’m feeling like garbage.  Physically I’m nursing a tiny hangover and mentally I’m nursing my shattered ego and fighting that depression that just wants so badly to surface.  I have a Japanese lesson later and I can’t even.  How bad will it be?  I dare to imagine.

Yesterday, Rei and I traveled 1 hour and 30 minutes (one way) to a nearby town to attend a reggae festival.  Despite being held in a rather large (for Japan) auditorium, the event itself wasn’t so big.  However, it was lots of fun and one of the artists was hilarious and Rei really enjoyed him which is awesome because I like him a lot too.  As per usual, I was introduced to some new music that I really enjoyed and I saw a couple of favorites.  It was worth the trip.  In addition, there was no one to run away from me.  (Well, I mean Rei could have but she didn’t.)  On our train ride, I told her what was going on with Yuichiro (fighting back tears the whole time).  She said if she could come talk to me during the day at Company H, she would stay there all day.  I love her.  She’s such a great person.  Speaking of Yuichiro, I posted about 30 videos on my Instagram story from the festival, and he watched every single one.  Every.  Single.  One.  What the fuck?  I’m sure no one else watched all of them.  Why is he interested in my life but not interested in talking to me?  I don’t understand him at all.  I guess I don’t understand Japanese guys in general and their weird as fuck behavior.  Or perhaps it’s just that I’m lucky enough to know the cream of the crop.

The weather is so gross.  It’s been  raining consistently since last night (and of course drunk me managed to lose my umbrella some time during the festival which made for a miserable walk home from the station).  It’s also suddenly gotten quite cold.  I mean are we just skipping fall or what?  Oh shit.  It just started to rain heavier.  Ugh, I super do not want to leave the house at all.  I just want to lie in bed and listen to music and cry a little bit.  Unfortunately, due to having prior engagements, that will have to wait.  I hope you’re having a better day.

One thought on “At least I have the music…

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