Life · Mental Health · Music

Saturday blues…

It’s the weekend and Rei has run off to Korea to visit her dumb boyfriend, so I’m left all alone.

In some spectacular news Naru decided to come to Japan for Christmas.  I’m over the moon.  With Naru AND Shingo here, it will be a Christmas to remember.

This morning Mamoru and I had a fight about a Christmas tree.  Actually, it was more cultural (in that Japanese people think Christmas is about going on dates and eating KFC but we Americans have a completely different idea of Christmas).  In the end, we sorted it out but not without lots of tears (from me as per usual).

After that I spent the day making my fat pants (a whole bunch of pants I made last year) into skinny pants.  Not without a lot of cussing though and some tears.  I managed to finish 3 pairs of pants with one left to do another day.

Tomorrow is a big music event.  I’ve had my ticket for more than a month.  I bought it when I was still in Yuichiro’s good graces.  It’s been two weeks, two weeks and he’s not said a word to me.  I’m so heartbroken about this.  Today I thought I’d send him a heads up reminding him that I’d be there tomorrow (while also mentioning I know he doesn’t want to talk to me and that I’d leave him alone).  He saw the message.  He didn’t respond.  My heart hurts.  I really thought Yuichiro was my friend.  I guess he never was.  Although I am really looking forward to seeing Mimi tomorrow and her wonderful band, I am dreading what will happen when I see Yuichiro.  Will he ignore me?  Even worse will he talk to me?  What if he’s mean to me?  Worse than that what if he treats me like I don’t exist?  I have so much anxiety over this, but I’ve been looking forward to this show for quite some time and there are around 40 artists performing.  If you have any tips as to how to navigate the treacherous terrain that I’ll be on tomorrow, please let me know.  Meanwhile, he’s still viewing my Instagram stories.  I really don’t get it.  I miss talking to him.  We used to talk every day.  Every day.  Even when I was in America.  Why did he go nutty bananas and just stop?  Who got into his head?  I wish I knew the answers to these questions.

Things are still broken in my life.  There are so many open festering wounds right now, and it’s hard to deal with them.  I miss Rei.  I hope things are better for you out there in Cyberland.

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