Life · Mental Health · Music

Stagnant…

I didn’t sleep well last night.  I flopped around like a fish all night, and my Fitbit yelled at me this morning for my shitty sleep.  Despite having zero motivation to do anything, I altered the last of four pairs of pants and cut out a knit top.  I didn’t have the wherewithal to actually start sewing it.  After that I did an Olaplex treatment on my hair.  It’s not improved much, and I realized that the curling iron I had been using had been destroying my hair.  So it’s going in the garbage.  I am getting my hair cut next week.  I’m really looking forward to it.  I decided on some bangs for winter and I’ll debut my new hair at Yuichiro’s and Mimi’s next show.  I hope it’s a stunner.

So after the Olaplex and a shower, I tried to watch some TV but I fell asleep and Small Lady and I had a nap together.  When I woke up, it was dinner time, so the day was shot.  I ate and watched some more TV.  Motivation still hovering around zero.

In other news I planned a Thanksgiving dinner for Thanksgiving time.  I have been planning this for a while (more than a month).  I love Thanksgiving.  It’s the holiday I miss the most.  Suddenly Rei and Kunzite have to work, so they can’t go.  Since Kotono has been acting shitty I expect her to cancel as well.  Mamoru (who I hoped would also attend) has to work too.  I’m not looking forward to Thanksgiving anymore.  My yoga teacher told me not to take it personally and that people are just fickle as fuck.  I can’t help but take it personally because except for Rei every time I invite someone to do something they either can’t come or cancel at the last minute.  It’s such inconsiderate bullshit.  I need some new friends.  I just need Shingo to live here.  I can’t wait until he comes back and then I always have someone to do things with.  Anyway, I just want to cancel the whole thing.  It’s stupid to have Thanksgiving with 2 people.  Just fuck everyone right now.

I don’t really have anything important to share.  Things remain the same.  Stagnant.  People are shitty.  I miss Yuichiro something fierce.  I only survive because of the music.  It plays on a loop in my brain.  I’ll probably just call it a night.  I hope you’re doing better than I am.

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3 thoughts on “Stagnant…

  1. Thanksgiving was the holiday I missed most as well during my two stints. It is such a simple, comforting day when it comes out right. It sounds like inviting these folks has added complexity to what should have been a peaceful time.

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