Life · Mental Health · Music

Done…

I think we can mark Yuichiro as officially done. I was holding on to some hope before that he’d come around. That everything would be okay. That was when he still watched my Instagram stories. Now he doesn’t watch them anymore, and I’ve lost every bit of hope I had that he’d ever be the person who made my summer the best summer ever.

The cold has settled in hard. Today the icy wind cut my face as I cycled around unmatched except by Yuichiro’s iciness. Cold weather must turn hearts cold. They freeze and harden. There’s a slight spark as I remember the venue where he’ll be on Saturday is quite intimate. If he wants to avoid me, he’ll have to hide in the very small backstage. Of course he might do that. I wouldn’t put it past him. Rei who will be accompanying me has promised to slap Yuichiro in the face. We’ve dubbed it the Slap Yuichiro in the Face Show. I’m certain she won’t really slap him in the face. Would be nice if she could get him to confess why he’s been so awful to me lately. I suppose we’ll see what happens.

Speaking of done…Mamoru is done sleeping in the bed. He no longer even pretends to fall asleep on the sofa. He just goes to bed out there. He called it his bed the other day when we were talking about Shingo. I’m sure Mamoru will be incredibly put out to actually have to sleep in the marital bed while Shingo is here.

What has happened to my life? Why is everyone done with me? I cannot handle this level of doneness.

The only thing that makes me wanna get out of bed right now is that I’m getting my hair cut tomorrow. Finally, I can welcome a new Usagi. I hope I cut away some of the pain too. I don’t want to carry so much of it with me.

I hope you’re having better days than I am. Be well.

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