Adoption · Japan · Life

Getting a good grade…

Today I had a freelance meeting with Gurio.  He said today the weather report said that today was the coldest day of the year so far in our city (low about 32°F or 0°C).  That felt about right.  I could barely cycle to Company H and home without wanting to die.  When I came home I sat under the hot water in the shower for like 30 minutes.  I still feel the cold deep in my bones.  It’s awful.  Today I had a horrible day at Company H plagued with the cold, aches and pains from shifting things in our house, and an awful stomachache.  To make things worse, I forgot my iPad and couldn’t check the NPO as frequently as I would have liked.  I was counting down the minutes until I could leave, but then I had that freelance meeting.  Today Shingo is back in Japan and staying with us.  It’s almost like he never left.

Eight babies were put up for adoption in our city this year (compared to one last year) using this online NPO.  This NPO hasn’t been operating long and a lot of adoptions done through them don’t have information on the city they were adopted from.  On Sunday I asked Mamoru to contact them about our profile.  (Like what else we need to do.)  They said our profile was fine, so we just need to hurry up and wait.  They told him it was rare for parents to adopt within the first month of using their system, so the baby girl we applied for probably won’t go to us.  This website uses a grading system.  I read an article that said they grade on things like assets and income and speaking with a woman who adopted from there she said that each update you add to the site brings your grade up.  However, even though we’ve added everything to our profile, our grade is still zero.  We have no idea what a good grade would be (there’s no scale) and even the woman who adopted from there isn’t quite sure how it works (though she told me that she doesn’t think it matters all that much).  She told me that when they adopted her son their grade was nearing 600 and that her husband makes a lot of money.  Mamoru seems to think we’ll be graded after our first month of being a member which would make sense that we wouldn’t get chosen within the first month because we’re still at 0 this month.  They also told Mamoru we could apply for as many babies as we wanted to (as it’s ultimately the birth mother’s choice) which means applying for more than one at once is okay.  Including the baby girl we applied for only three babies are available for adoption right now.  One baby we don’t know the gender of or have any health information on because the birth mother doesn’t have insurance and hasn’t been to the doctor at all during her pregnancy (nor do we know if she will).  This raises concerns for Mamoru and me, and we decided not to apply for this baby.  The other baby is an older child (3) with Down’s Syndrome.  I told Mamoru I have serious reservations about adopting a baby with Down’s because I don’t think I could take care of him or her properly (in America, maybe but in Japan definitely not as I couldn’t handle the special care he or she would need in a language not my own).  I hope that doesn’t make me sound like a horrible, heartless person.  I think when it comes down to it we all want healthy babies.

That’s all that’s new really.  I told my clients I am taking a winter holiday.  I basically told them all different days, so this is my last full week of freelance meetings and then a half week next week and done until after New Year’s.  I need a break.  I’m exhausted and this cold weather is offensive.  Stay warm out there.

2 thoughts on “Getting a good grade…

  1. I don’t think not wanting the Down’s Syndrome baby makes you a bad person. Coping with a disability is a massive commitment – even beyond the already huge commitment of adopting a child. Your reservations about the language when it comes to medical care are valid.

    It’s been between 0°C and 4°C here for weeks! Right now it’s -1°C (30°F according to Google?).
    I have a 3 day week this week then I’m off from next Friday until the 2nd week of January. I can’t wait!


  2. I relate to your feelings of about adopting a Down Syndrome Child. It is a heavy burden and you have to consider if you are right for that child.

    I don’t think it makes anyone a bad person because they feel they’re not up to a situation. It’s being realistic for everyone involved.

    Hopefully they’ll find someone who matches their needs. That is what’s best for everyone.

    I admire people who are to that challenge, but I don’t think I could do that burden myself.

    Liked by 1 person

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