Adoption · Life

Calm…

I can feel the calm settling in.  As the song says “the Christmas rush is through”.  Company H is still open until the 25th but I don’t work on Mondays which means I get Christmas off (as it should be).  Then the office is closed for New Year’s (as it’s the bigger holiday here not Christmas).  This means I don’t work again until January 11th.  I can finally breathe easy.  Yesterday, I had my final freelance meeting of the year and Shingo, Rei and her dumb boyfriend and I all celebrated at a really lame karaoke Meetup (probably everyone has fucked off for the holidays).  I ended up drinking more than I should have and felt a little yucky this morning.  While making breakfast the smell of it made me a bit ill and I ran to the toilet where I promptly puked up no more than stomach acid.  The nausea has since faded but my throat is still burning and my head feels yucky.  I’m attempting to remedy that with tomato juice and Advil.  I hope I can get a nap in today too.  I am over the moon that there is literally nothing I HAVE to do today.  It’s such a tremendous feeling like a weight has been lifted.

Per a Facebook adoption group member, I found another NPO and Mamoru and I filled out the online information form this morning.  I’m still checking our regular online NPO multiple times a day.  Babies are being listed but none available for adoption yet.  A woman who adopted through there said that when a birth mother calls and inquires about placing her child up for adoption, the babies go up but are not made available until the birth mother decides for certain adoption is what she wants to do.  Recently there have been two not so baby like babies, a 4 year old and a 3 year old.  I don’t understand how someone can raise a child for 3 or 4 years and then just decide “nope, not interested.”  Shit it’s not like a sweater you can return if you decide you don’t like it.  It’s another (small) person’s life here.  Perhaps I’m prejudging because I don’t know the circumstances, but I cannot fathom doing such a thing.  There is no situation I can think of where it would be okay to abandon my child.  I think people too often overlook or are ungrateful for the gifts life gives them.  Call me judgemental but this is coming from someone who can’t have her own children and has to jump through miles and miles of hoops just to have a child to call her own.  Sigh.  Imbalance.  For a Libra (scales) imbalance is particularly hard.

Anyway, that’s all for today.  Please enjoy your weekend and I hope you have a Merry Christmas come Monday.  Be well.

 

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