Life

Empty…

Shingo left earlier this week.  Naru left today.  After I got back from taking her to the airport, I took down the Christmas tree, put away the decorations, and cleaned/vacuumed the whole house.  Taking down the tree always leaves a bit of an empty feeling, but I suppose all your houseguests leaving has the same effect.  After I ate something and showered, I sat down to finish “Fuller House”.

NOTE: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 OF “FULLER HOUSE” BELOW.

In S2 amid the other warm fuzzies, Stephanie and Jimmy have 3 viable embryos extracted for IVF.  However, since Stephanie can’t carry the child herself as revealed in S1, they look for a surrogate.  A comical parade of unworthy surrogates lead Stephanie and Jimmy to choose Kimmy as their surrogate (in good old fashioned “Friends” style).  Fearing the worst after a fog rolls in akin to what happened in a bad dream Stephanie had, she gives up hope of Kimmy being pregnant.  However, the season ends with Kimmy revealing that the embryo took and she is in fact pregnant.  “Fuller House” doesn’t really leave one guessing when it comes to outcomes, but that didn’t stop me from crying when Stephanie screamed out with joy “I’m gonna be a mommy!”  Not to mention crying later into Mamoru’s arms as I’m reminded that I’m still not a mommy and with no indication of when I’ll be bestowed that title.  “Sooner or later,” Mamoru reassured.  Waiting for your longed for child makes any other wait seem like waiting for the next episode to load on Netflix.

To sum up my house is clean and empty.  I had a cry.  We still don’t have a baby.

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6 thoughts on “Empty…

  1. Taking down the tree does leave the place feeling empty… I have that to look forward to tomorrow. Today I have an appointment at the hospital fertility clinic for a second opinion.

    Cry if you need to, but don’t give up hope. You WILL be a mommy.

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      1. It was just a preliminary talk, so no news other than that they want to redo all the tests, especially the sperm analysis since that was done over a year ago. I’m currently in the middle of my cycle and due to ovulate any time between now and Wednesday, so basically I’m waiting for CD1. Unless I get pregnant this cycle… hahahaha.

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