Well, Mamoru took the news better than expected. In fact, he said he still wanted to adopt even if everything goes well with this pregnancy. He joked we could be like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (without the divorce). I told him I was surprised. He wondered why I was surprised but in the end we both agreed that there are many children out there who need loving homes and a family which we could provide.
We spent the day together. We ate 串カツ, we played Pokémon, he sold some clothes to a brand used clothes shop, and we talked about everything. He said he wants to go to the doctor with me on Tuesday. We decided it’s best if I leave Company H at the end of the fiscal year. He said he’d help me get a maternity tag. It looks like this:
I love that it says “There’s a baby in my belly.” To be honest this is the first time I’ve actually read that despite seeing it many many times. He said he’s happy and hopeful and that made me feel much better. I’m still scared, but having Mamoru by my side through this makes it easier. He reacted to these two pregnancy tests a lot better than he did the first time I showed him a positive pregnancy test way back when we first started TTC. However, I did tell him I’d be taking a test every single day until a doctor confirms this pregnancy. He said it’s kind of overkill, but it will help me feel better. Plus the tests expire this month, so I might as well.
I can’t help but wonder if I got preggo because I lost 22 kilograms or because we gave up TTC and decided to adopt. I guess only the PTB know the real reason. He seems to think his Mom’s spirit is on our side. I hope she is because we need all the luck we can get.
If you take a look at my chart, you can see that the one time we had sex during my fertile window was the time I got preggo (also you can probably see that it’s a boy). Basically, it’s my fault since I knew it was that time but due to houseguests we hadn’t had any alone time, so well I wanted to and I didn’t think anything would come of it. Geez doesn’t it always work that way?
Try your hardest to get pregnant until it makes literally everything in your life unfun, miscarry, get a PCOS diagnosis, give up TTC, resort to adoption, boom get preggo. I know I’m making light of this but really I know it’s serious fucking business. Plus, jokes help ease my mind.
Unless, I am super overcome with emotions this weekend, I probably won’t post anything else until visiting the doctor. I’m hoping against hope that everything will be fine, and I’ll have nothing more than diarrhea (which definitely wouldn’t be worth posting about). Thank you for your support. I still need it of course because on a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is the most freaked out I’m about a 195. However, I’m okay right now because I just ate Indian food with naan (something I haven’t had in almost a year). Thank the PTB for our son, the reason I have to quit this low carb diet. All jokes aside I’m still level 194 freaked out (as that last joke took off a point).
I appreciate all of you. I’ll check back in on Tuesday (Japan time).