Yesterday Mamoru decided to act like an asshole, so we got into an ugly fight which culminated with him calling me “fucking crazy”. Pro tip: It would be in your best interest NOT to call any woman crazy let alone a pregnant one who can’t control the hormones making her crazy. Yesterday morning I felt like utter garbage which I told Mamoru, and he thought it best to ignore me and hide in his office followed by a 3 hour nap. (I can’t wait till that office becomes the baby’s room and he doesn’t have a place to hide anymore). During our fight he said that most Japanese men aren’t interested in pregnancy. I told him he needs to get interested and he also needs to educate himself as to what a woman goes through while pregnant. Mamoru is the only family I have in Japan (if we don’t count お父さん who’s always working and Mamoru’s ne’er do well brother and his crazy wife). I told Mamoru I need him to be strong and help me out because the bottom line is I’m fucking scared.
Today I had my first doctor visit. I’m 4 weeks, 2 days. She did a pregnancy test and a vaginal ultrasound which not surprisingly showed nothing. The pregnancy test was of course positive (with a strong line she said) and during the ultrasound she noted that my endometrium was nice and thick (which is what it’s supposed to do during pregnancy). In addition, I have other symptoms: sore boobies, mood swings, excessive gas, incredible back pain, mild nausea (no vomiting yet thank goodness but I read that kicks in around week 6), a little fatigue and I’m really thirsty and have to pee all the time. This is all super new and things I’ve never experienced before, so I guess that’s good. I’ve scheduled an appointment for next week per doctor’s orders where they’ll check again via ultrasound and then do a blood test if they can’t detect pregnancy at that time.
Here are the progression of pregnancy tests I’ve taken thus far. (You’ll notice the line got darker on the First Response tests).
So I guess that’s good too right? Three of the First Response tests were expired, so I took them just for fun. Today’s First Response (the darkest yet) was not expired but I have no idea about that other test strip.
As a basis for comparison I found my chemical pregnancy test photos. You can see that the lines never got darker. Had I not been obsessively testing at that time I probably would have missed it.
Anyway, that’s all for now. No fears assuaged just yet but all the tests point to still preggo.