I’m sitting on the edge of wanting to vomit. You know that feeling? Like there’s vomit just right in the back of your throat that might just come up any minute? Yeah that’s me. Right now. There’s also a banana taste back there. I mean I have been eating a lot of bananas but geez. Today I feel like if I eat another banana I just might die. I couldn’t finish my breakfast smoothie. I’ve eaten nothing else. Right now I’m drinking a homemade lemon, ginger, honey concoction and trying to calm the fuck down. It’s been a helluva morning.
Because doing the simplest tasks exhaust me (thanks to the fucking flu), I decided to take a taxi to my doctor’s appointment today. A 16 minute drive turned into a near 30 minute drive because the taxi driver was driving so slowly (and I’m not complaining about that as I made it to my appointment on time just barely). But I left my glasses in the taxi. The taxi driver called me and so I went out in front of the building where he dropped me off. I told him where I was exactly more than once. He never showed up. (Note it was 1°C/34°F with a wind chill making it feel like -6°C/22°F). The wind was blowing like crazy and I was freezing, and fearing I’d be late, I hung up on his ass and went upstairs to my appointment. He called 2 more times while I was in the doctor’s office. Fuck this guy. I messaged my husband and explained to him the situation. Truthfully, I don’t really care about the glasses. I have like 10 pairs of glasses. I was upset that I had to wait outside, stressed out and crying and almost late for my appointment. The nurse mentioned that my blood pressure was high. No surprise there. Thanks taxi man.
I was ushered through the usual process and finally the doctor came in to give me the ultrasound. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to see so well because I didn’t have my glasses, but as she moved the wand around slowly it appeared. A teeny tiny fetal pulse, a heartbeat. This is the moment I cried. She confirmed it was in fact a heartbeat and made a recording of it. It doesn’t look like much on the ultrasound picture but here it is:
The fact that I could see it there moving on the ultrasound made this thing seem more real than any other ultrasound. I am going back next week for another ultrasound. This process repeats until 11 weeks and then I need to choose a hospital where I’d like to move my visits to and where I’ll eventually give birth. Twelve weeks will be the first full week of March. Meanwhile, I need to remind Mamoru to find a place that will do genetic testing at 10 weeks here and not 15. I legitimately cannot wait an extra month.
Anyway, our miracle baby keeps on growing and doing everything he’s supposed to be doing. Thank the PTB!