Normally my depression is pretty manageable but if you want to see me go from pretty okay to shit show throw a MC in there.
Here’s how my depression manifests in the wake of a MC:
- Sunken eyes surrounded by dark circles
- No smiles
- Raging headaches
- Lying in bed most of the day watching TV
- Napping (something I normally don’t do)
- Being unable to cook for myself (something I love to do)
- Eating a lot (A LOT) of shit
jelly beans
potato chips (there are at least 5 kinds in the house right now)
pickles - Not commenting on other people’s SNS posts, not sending or replying to messages
- Zoning out
- Not wearing anything besides jammies (even to leave the house)
- But rarely leaving the house
- Which leads to failing to walk the dog (but she seems unfazed)
- Crying (almost every time I hug Mamoru)
- Having little interest in things I love (reading, drawing, cooking, etc.)
- No energy
I think that’s it. It’s still a pretty extensive list. I can’t wait until Monday. After that I can heal (mentally and physically) and try to pick up the pieces this MC left behind, so I can move on.
I hope your week is going better than mine. Be well.
What Mara said – no need to respond. You need to focus on you right now. Just know that I am thinking of you.
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Be well. Don’t worry about responding. If you don’t feel you can, then don’t stress about it. I’m fine just letting you know I’m here and supporting you through this terrible time.
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