Adoption · Japan · Life · Miscarriage

Weekends like these…

Today is rainy and gross.  However, BOTH Saturday and Sunday were super gorgeous.  Both days were sunny and the weather was unbelievable.  Sunday was even warm and I brought a light jacket but took it off soon after leaving the house.

On Saturday, I woke up to Mamoru showering me with kisses which put this not-morning-girl in a good mood already.  He further made my morning by telling me that 2 NPOs want to come to our house to do a home visit!  I am over the moon!  I made low carb crepes for breakfast, and then I put my diet aside to have afternoon tea at the Ritz which was so nice.  Mamoru and I ended up liking each other’s tea better so we switched after the first cup.  They made me special vegetarian savory bites including one with cheese and walnut which was to die for.  Happy, happy and even happier, we headed home and got to work.  His office (the future kids’ room) was still a disaster.  I helped him sort two large boxes of papers from his work.  He filed the important ones and then made two piles (one for shredding and one for garbage).  He also sorted shoes and put them in clear storage boxes.  I must have put more than 10 shoe boxes in the recycle.  Exhausted we called it a night.

On Sunday, Mamoru went to the gym, and I went to work on our wedding photos (after having a cry about how stupid Japan still is about tattoos).  I took down all the photos that had visible tattoos (because I don’t want an NPO to deny us a baby because I have tattoos and to be honest I don’t know whether that would happen or not but I’d rather not take the chance).  I put some photos on a USB to print out, and I rearranged our photos throughout the house.  (In the end it was actually nice to change the photos around.)  I am also looking forward to hanging family photos when the time comes.  After Mamoru came back we rode our bikes (in the gorgeous warm weather) to a large nearby station and went to a home center.  We bought outlet covers, soft corners for a couple of our tables, new curtains for the kids’ room (beautiful dolphin ones), and a cabinet lock for the bathroom.  I’m sure we don’t need these things right now but we want to show the NPOs that we have thought seriously about adoption and are prepared.  We even told one of the NPOs that we already have baby furniture because they asked about our plan for adoption.  Yes, we are almost ready.  I ordered a First Aid Kit on Amazon and some cute Mickey Mouse outlet covers for the kids’ room.  Then we went to the touristy area to sell some of Mamoru’s clothes and shoes.  We walked around a bit and played Pokémon while waiting and then ate dinner.  Mamoru bought me a dress and a long cover up at the outlet shop where he took his clothes.  Unfortunately, he didn’t do too well and they only took one suit and gave him ¥500 for it.  He had to tote the shoes back home which was unfortunate for me because I was hoping to see some more shoes go.  (This man has so many shoes.)  Back at home, we buckled down to finish the office.  I put the outlet covers in and table corners on, and also hung up the new photos and curtains.  Then I helped him put away the rest of his shoes, and he finished cleaning off his desk.  I’m actually surprised with how nice it looks in there.  There is at least 85% less clutter and unwanted items.

Today I’ll finish my medicine, and I’ll visit the doctor for a follow up.  This will be the last time I want to think about the D&C or the unfortunate MC I had.  This book I’m reading that I mentioned before From Pain to Parenthood: A Journey Through Miscarriage to Adoption said it’s helpful to do something to honor the child you lost.  I thought about planting flowers, but when Mamoru and I were out shopping yesterday we stumbled upon a 桜 tree (of the weeping variety which I thought fitting).  Also, those ones are my favorite because of the beautiful pink flowers they produce.  It’s just a wee tree not even as tall as me (with no flowers yet), and Mamoru and I planted it together.  As we finished I said, “for our lost little boy.”  Hopefully, the tree will grow and flourish and be a beautiful reminder of the one we lost.

The last thing to do before one NPO comes for a home visit this week is shorten the curtains we bought from IKEA and hang them in the kids’ room.  Despite all the work and the sore muscles and headache I have today, I have been happier this weekend than I have in weeks.  I saw this one Facebook today:

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It really hit me.  Since finding out about the death of our baby, I haven’t laughed or smiled or had any joy in my life.  Nothing like a MC to suck all the joy out of you.  This weekend I smiled, I laughed, I was lively, and I found some renewed hope and joy (thanks to adoption).  I am hopeful for the future and super excited to welcome some children into our home via adoption and home visits mean that reality is closer than before.  Mamoru always tells me to be patient because we’ll have children eventually, and while I have gobs of patience in my job, my life patience is severely lacking.  Plus, you know I feel like I’ve waited a million years to meet our children, so it’s very hard for me to be patient.

Anyway, I hope you had a lovely sunny and warm weekend.  Be well.

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