Adoption · Japan · Life

Where are our babies?

Exciting day here in the Moon Kingdom.  I’m sitting around waiting for “Jessica Jones” S2 to drop.  I’m basically zoning in out out of various SNS sites.  I’ve also been waiting around to hear something about how our home visit went.  So far no word.  It’s agonizing waiting.  Waiting and waiting.  That’s all I seem to do where babies are concerned.

Today I was messaging one of the ladies in my adoption group on Facebook.  She asked me if I had any baby clothes.  I had to confess that yes I do have a couple things.  She said when she adopted her baby son, she had to scramble to buy some baby clothes and ship them to the hospital for him.  Of course, there are two Uniqlo stores near me, and I could easily go buy some things at any given time.  I hate to buy things now.  I’ve had such bad luck with buying things early.  We bought baby furniture early.  It sits in boxes.  I bought maternity clothes early, and Mamoru bought baby blankets.  They are buried in a drawer.  Every baby thing I’ve bought sits unused, gathering dust.  It’s a sad reflection of our lives where babies are concerned.

Last night I was interviewed for an online magazine about adoption.  It was pretty cool, and I was happy to do it even though I don’t think I have been waiting as long as some which means maybe I’m not an expert.  Mamoru came home with some bad news.  One NPO we had just started working with (and planned to attend their seminar later this month) told Mamoru that they would only be giving Down Syndrome babies to foreigners where Japanese couples could receive healthy babies from them.  Mamoru said he didn’t want to work with this NPO anymore, and I angrily agreed.  This law is such bullshit.  Already I think our chances to adopt are low.  We have to wait to adopt with our local institution because we missed one class because of Mamoru’s work.  We have to wait to adopt with other organizations because our local institution has to issue us a certificate when we have finished their program (which I just said we have to wait to finish).  With these two organizations we are essentially grounded.  This leaves Mamoru and I with two options right now: the online NPO and another NPO.  The other NPO won’t do a home visit with us until Mamoru collects some documents from the city office (documents stating tax information, place of residence and a document stamped by the mayor stating we’re not criminals).  Of course, we can get these documents.  (It just takes time.)  But here I am scratching my head thinking if a felon wants to get pregnant and have a baby, they don’t have to jump through these hoops.  Imbalance.  Imbalance everywhere.  It’s awful.  I feel like our babies are always so far away from us and that we keep getting road blocks thrown in our way.  It’s so disheartening, and I’m constantly feeling discouraged.  Where are our babies?  When will we meet them?

This is just what’s spinning around in my head right now.  I’m so angry about this stupid law.  It’s so backwards.  It’s racist.  It’s Japan being Japan.  Making things incredibly difficult for foreigners every step of the way.  This is my life in Japan.  I shouldn’t be surprised.  I mean it’s always been difficult to live here.  I’m just hurt that Japan chooses to take steps backwards instead of forward.  I hope your day is better than mine.  It’s raining and gross…again.  I have a freelance meeting tonight but luckily it’s near my house.  I hope the rain lets up enough to let me ride my bike there.  Be well.

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5 thoughts on “Where are our babies?

  1. God that is such bullshit!! It was that way with India when we knew that Ethiopia was closing their doors after our two-year wait and were considering them because they had recently become Hague accredited… They bragged about their short wait times for India when the truth was they not only have the combined age limitation for adopted parents which would exclude us from even having a child under 3 years old based on their rules, but also that we would be pretty much limited to special-needs which essentially would require me to shut down my business which as the breadwinner is not going to happen.

    On a completely different note I have to celebrate that Jessica Jones finally has a season 2 as I love that show!

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    1. I don’t think any of these “rules” benefit the children. A woman who I know who adopted from Japan told me their son was born (and institutionalized) when they began the process. Because it takes so long, he sat in an institution for 3 years while they completed the requirements and waited. This boy could have been in a loving home from birth or shortly thereafter if the family didn’t have to jump through so many hoops. I just can’t think of how many children suffer because of bureaucratic red tape.

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      1. Agree! I keep thinking of all those kiddos in Ethiopian orphanages who were matched with families who never got to take them home and the thousands of others who are still in group homes.

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  2. I hate that the law (and Japan) is putting more obstacles in your way. I’m still hopeful that you WILL get your baby though. At least if they are asking for documents something is happening right?

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