Adoption · Japan · Life · Mental Health


Today was one for the fucking books.  This morning started with a panic attack over my lost Fitbit.  Apparently I had thrown it in the pile with the clothes to wash by accident, and I didn’t realize it until 6:30AM when I jolted awake and I wasn’t wearing it.  My panic attack woke Mamoru up and he helped me look for it.  Once I found it in the laundry pile, I crashed for an hour, and Mamoru stayed awake.

When I woke up, I found that Mamoru had put my work clothes in the laundry basket where they had gotten all wrinkled.  This is not the first time he’s done this.  I’ve asked him not to do this before, and he said he wouldn’t.  Well, because of this we got into an ugly fight an hour before our home visit.  I said that I take care of his clothes.  Why can’t he do the same for me?  Of course, his solution to this problem was for each of us to do our own laundry.  The perfect Japanese solution to the problem…ignore that anything happened, never speak about it again.  He then expressed his neuroses about not wanting to wash socks and underwear with shirts (granted undershirts are the only things in there of his as the rest of his clothes are dry cleaned).  I said it was a waste of time and money to do everything separate, and he doesn’t have any free time because he works all the fucking time.  In the end I managed to convince him that he needs to just communicate with me or just leave the laundry alone.  He huffed about his loss with “It’s a big compromise”.  I don’t understand this man sometimes.  He’s super sweet and we have a nice weekend but then he acts like a crazy person and ruins everything.

I managed to wash the tears off my face and put enough make up on the cover evidence of our fight right before the rep from the NPO came for our home visit.  It was pretty standard.  She asked us a lot of questions and then showed us how to bathe and feed a baby.  She was super impressed with my skill, and even Mamoru was like “You know how to take care of babies?” seemingly shocked.  I was like “Duh”.  Apparently babysitting isn’t a thing in Japan because Japanese children are taken care of by their non-working mothers, and they’re meant to focus on school.  Having a part time job or babysitting just isn’t a thing here.  Anyway, I felt like I didn’t need her instructions, but I can see how they can be helpful for Japanese people who have no experience taking care of babies.  She suggested we hire a nanny to have someone help me take care of the baby which I think is silly and unnecessary.  Many Japanese women live with their mothers after they have babies.  They do this so someone can help with the baby while her absentee husband is working his ass off and not doing any child rearing whatsoever.  I argued that this would not be the case for Mamoru.  He will be helping raise our child.  He doesn’t get off so easy.  What’s more is if I’m not working, I don’t think I need a damn nanny.  These Japanese NPOs are interesting to say the least.

All the tumult has hopefully left the building for today.  Mamoru is passed out on the sofa, and I’m about to pass out here trying to catch up on “Once Upon a Time”.  It’s been a difficult day and I’m in need of a nap.  I hope your weekend has been better than mine.  Be well.

One thought on “Monday…Monday…

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