Life · Mental Health

I suck and everyone hates me…

Hi.  I’m a good 85% – 87% better.  I still have a sore throat at times, a cough that just won’t fucking quit, and mild congestion.  But I’m getting better.  At least I hope so.

In other news starting yesterday depression and anxiety decided to tell me how much I suck and how much everyone hates me.  I’m seriously sitting in bed right now trying not to cry because if I did, I couldn’t explain to Mamoru why I was crying, and he understands depression so little that the explanation of “I don’t know” wouldn’t be sufficient enough for him.  I wish I could name these feelings.  Would that make them easier to stop?  Who knows?

I’m started back at Company H today after a week long absence.  Luckily today was a bit of a slow day, and I texted and read in the down time.  That’s the best thing about my job.  In the down time I can do whatever the fuck I want.  I definitely can’t complain about that.

Nothing else is new really.  Rei is going to Korea for a long time so I won’t get to see her much before I go to America.  Part of the depression maybe?  Who knows?

I hope you’re having better days.  Be well.

2 thoughts on “I suck and everyone hates me…

  1. Hi 🙂 I started following you recently because I saw you also live in Japan. I hope you don’t mind. Liking always seems inappropriate for posts like this, so I wanted to say that it’s good you’re physically feeling better and I hope you begin to feel better mentally too.


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