Life · Mental Health

Red flags part 2…

I can’t sleep, so I thought I’d get this out before it drives me insane.  For the start of this story go here.

I’d like to think Demande is not a stupid man.  I’d like to think anyone who speaks two languages and has his own business isn’t a stupid man.  Because Demande and I have the kind of friendship that’s pretty open, I got to pry into his situation further during our meeting today.

I casually ask if his girlfriend had been to a doctor.  He says she had in her home country, and he’s seen an ultrasound picture.  Oh not in Japan?  Red flag.  She doesn’t trust Japanese doctors because of the language barrier, he says.  Red flag.  Oh.  I put on a very concerned face.  (Experience helps with this too).  In Japan they recommend going to the doctor every week in the early weeks of pregnancy, I tell him, because the risk of MC is high.  I recommend a fantastic doctor who speaks perfect English.  I know this because I went to her while I was pregnant (that part I left out).  I urge Demande to send her to this doctor.  It’s the best thing.  Now I understand home country loyalty where having babies is concerned.  At first, I was pro-America because I honestly thought that was the best place to have a baby.  After doing some research I found that Japan has one of the lowest infant mortality rates in the developed world and after I learned that I wouldn’t even think of having a baby elsewhere.  Maybe just maybe she doesn’t know this, but if she did, maybe she’d feel the same.

Now I honestly don’t think Demande is stupid.  After all, he’s seen an ultrasound (which I’m certain is easily faked but I don’t know for sure as I’m not malicious enough to fake a pregnancy).  Perhaps she’s never given him a reason not to trust her.  I mean why would she in only four short months?  Today’s talk really has me thinking she’s pulled the wool over his eyes.  Am I a horrible person for thinking that she’s faking a pregnancy?  (I’m not sure I could possibly be as bad as someone actually faking a pregnancy though.)  I just feel very protective of Demande because he was literally my first friend in this place.  He was kind to me when I was the loneliest I’ve ever been (even lonelier than when I first moved to Japan).  I don’t want him to be so easily duped by this girl.  I hope he gets her to go to the doctor here.  Then we all will know the truth about this “pregnancy”.  However, I doubt she will.  Her tourist visa is almost up and once she leaves, she can’t come back for a while.  I suppose either her “pregnancy” will continue or she will “miscarry” these fictional babies once she’s gotten what she wants from Demande (my best guess is marriage).  If this is what’s happening, she is one of the worst people I’ve not had the “pleasure” of meeting (nor would I ever want to meet someone so horrible).  Pregnancy and miscarriage are not tools to use for personal gain.  However, I could be totally wrong about all this.  For Demande’s sake, I hope I am wrong.

That’s it.  It’s been a night.  I hope you’re well.

6 thoughts on “Red flags part 2…

    1. He’s my age. Demande posses a lot of childlike optimism. I think he really wants this to be true, so he has no need to question it. I also think he’s never been in this situation before, so he has no experience with anything like this. I don’t know.


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