It’s 11:45PM on my birthday eve. I don’t want to be 39. Just like I didn’t want to be 38.
I was 36 when I started this blog. I thought I was still young enough to have children. I didn’t know that I’d have two MCs in the course of this blog. I thought by 39 we’d have at least one child and another on the way perhaps. Now I don’t know if we’ll even have by my 40th.
I’ve lost and gained (and sometimes regained) a lot of friends in the course of this blog. Some I didn’t mind losing and the loss of others crushed me. Mamoru and I have had many ups and downs during the course of this blog.
Getting old is one of my fears. I think that’s safe to say here as the PTB have decided that my greatest fear (not being able to physically have children) has been realized. Fortunately, I still look young. Thank the PTB there (at least they haven’t made me look like an old hag).
My thoughts are choppy because I’m sleepy. Bottom line: I don’t wanna be 39. Let’s slow down this aging thing.