Life · Mental Health

Friday was a…day…

Today I had lunch with Kunzite.  When I got home, Mamoru said “I thought the friendship was finished.”  Looking back at my blog I guess maybe it was.  But also thinking about what’s happened with Demande recently, I guess I’m in the business of giving second chances.  Anyway, it doesn’t really matter all that much as Kunzite told me he’ll be moving to China in January due to his job, so our friendship has an end date.  Unlike Rei and I, I doubt Kunzite and I will be messaging each other much once he goes to China.  Also, Kunzite has kind of been MIA traveling a lot for his job.  Plus I stopped inviting him to things which is the other reason he hasn’t been around.  Who knows?  Maybe I’m nostalgic for times when I first moved here.  I don’t fucking know why.  That time was depressing as fuck.

Last night’s karaoke was a weird mixture of fun and misery.  Most of the night I hung out of sight around the stairwell due to an incredibly small crowd and also the bartender calling me fat in a roundabout way.  Yumiko (see Pseudonyms) promised to come but she didn’t get there until after 9PM.  By that time, another group joined our group and she was swallowed (not literally…gross) by a bunch of drunk Australians (who that night also made a girl cry by booing her singing).  The atmosphere of karaoke last night was just total shit.  However, right as we were about to leave a really funny guy I met at my karaoke boss’s house party showed up and talked me into going to the club (karaoke always goes to a club after the karaoke event is over).  I was happy to go with him, Yumiko, this Jack Sparrow looking dude (who comes like every week), my karaoke boss, and the girl who cried earlier and her instant attached at the hip sort of boyfriend.  We danced until people started leaving for last trains.  I stayed for a little bit longer (because I was on the bike as per usual) and when I was going back upstairs to say goodbye to Jack Sparrow, I met a guy on the stairs who seemed enthralled with me.  He was adorable and friendly, so I chatted for him for a little bit.  During the conversation he said “Actually, I’m gay” and it was just so cute the way he said that, so I responded with “Actually I love gay people!”  He was over the moon to hear that and we exchanged information.  He lives in my neighborhood and I told him to bring his boyfriend to karaoke next week.  I guess what started out as a pretty bad night ended on a high note.

Mamoru apparently forgot that he said he wanted to talk.  I told him as I was running out the door to meet Kunzite we could talk after he got back from his English lesson.  Yeah he’s taking English lessons now.  Never mind I’ve been teaching him through our daily interactions for like 6 years now, but he always forgets shit I teach him.  Who knows?  Maybe this will be better.  I have no idea.  Anyway, my plan is to lie on the sofa watching “Ozark” until he comes home and feels like talking.

I’m having a really hard time right now because Rei is gone, Demande is being conned, and Mamoru is having a midlife crisis I guess.  My mental health is suffering to say the least.  I’m trying.  I’m not doing okay, but I’m trying.  Be well.

2 thoughts on “Friday was a…day…

  1. I’m still puzzled. How on earth do you have the energy and will to post here, it’s beyond me, seriously. Like if I had the chance to finally live in Japan, heck I’d love to chill and go out and have a chat with you.
    I’m still quite young, but at times I feel like this 60 y.o woman who loves to sit at cafes, drink coffee and chat with my friend. Not all that up on clubbing, but heck, who doesn’t love some pastry and coffee on the side with some great company!
    I really do hope that you find some things to brighten up your day even a little bit.
    I know your life is quite shit as much as I’ve read, but I keep coming back for more. I guess I just hope to read how things turn out at the end – hoping it’ll go for the better of course.
    So really, hang in there and I hope you’ll see that cute gay couple later on, to have a friendly chat with them and hopefully get your mind off of things for a little.


    1. I appreciate the comment and that you’re cheering me on from afar. People post likes on my blog and I have a decent number of followers but unless someone speaks up, I don’t know who actually reads my shit. Regardless I have to post here because sometimes it is the only thing keeping me sane. Thank you for reading.


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